


The Creation of Who (Izaya Orihara X Reader)

by KarenTwT



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Dollars (Durarara!!), F/M, orihara - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 10:55:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 23,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13716195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KarenTwT/pseuds/KarenTwT





	1. Playing with Fire

(Reader's POV)

I used my parkour skills to hoop down from the stage above his penthouse and went through the window of his bathroom since it seemed like it was the only one open and got into his house.

I've had an eye for a certain informant: Izaya Orihara. Even installed a camera or two in his house and had some all over the city. I, myself, also sell information but only for a hobby. But that didn't stop me from taking an interest in Izaya. And no I'm not a stalker. Maybe.

The reason that I'm at his house, is because one of the cameras have been glitching a lot lately, the one in his bedroom, but since I've already coded his everyday routine in my head, he should be sleeping by now.

I opened the door, ever so slightly, to make sure he was asleep. And yep, sound asleep.

I went to his closet, where the camera was installed, and tried to change it out with another spare one, without making a sound, but failed miserably. And since Izaya is a light sleeper, he'd probably be awake by now.

I turned around slowly, afraid of what might wait for me. I heard Izaya groan, as he opened his eyes, and took his phone out to check the clock 2:34 AM. "What are you doing?" he asked surprisingly calm. "I-I..." I tensed up. I didn't know what to do or say. His eyes rolled down to my shaking hands and smirked at my frightment. He then laid comfortably on his back and purred lightly.

"Go on there's nothing to see here," he said, as he closed his phone and sat on the rim of bed.

I didn't know what to do, I was filled with pure shock, so I dropped the camera down on the floor, the aura slowly turning into bloodlust. But really, I should have run – run far away and never turn back. "There's nothing to see here, my dear humble human." Out of nowhere, he grabbed my wrist, holding onto it tightly, like his intentions were of breaking it. But painful – it really was.

Now standing in front of me, towering over what little was left of me, I lowered my head. "LOOK AT ME!!" he shouted, as he grabbed my jaw and started giggling. "Stupid as ever, I see," he said, as that little chuckle turned into a bloodthirsty laugh, loud, louder, and even louder.

He pushed me, but I didn't fall, so he chose to walk fast over to me, wanting to done his human, so he could get some sleep.

I started walking backwards, turning ever so slightly, when he fastened his pass. But then I tripped. Why did my goddamned foot choose to fail me at this moment?!

I was about to fall down hard, face first, until he grabbed my wrist, twirled me around, and pulled me up in his arms, as fast as lightning, and pushed me again, so my back faced the wall – his wall. Like shots, his hands were placed beside both the sides of my head. I knew his actions were fast, but I didn't know they were that fast. If I did, I wouldn't have messed with him. Well not like this, anyway.

He smiled creepily at me, as he lowered his head beside my ear. I felt his breath hit my ear quickly to slowly as if trying to calm himself down. But why? He could have killed me by now if he wanted to, but he didn't. Why?

"You're lucky Namie quitted," he whispered into my ear, as he faced me. "Wh-what-," he interrupted me, by putting a finger to my lips, saying: "Shh~," Looking down at the crack of my neck, breathing rather weirdly.

"O-oriha-," he interrupted me, once again, knowing what I'll say. "Izaya is fine," he said still not facing me, getting a little bored now. "Okay, Iz-Izaya," I nervously quivered, as he faced me, waiting for me to complete my point, but I only turned my head, as I blushed at the closeness and continued: "U-um can y-you, you know, b-back off?" He raised his eyebrow in a questionable way, "Y-you're a bit t-too close," I quivered once again, as he exhaled at my awkwardness, but also at my stupidity,  removing his hands. "It's funny to hear that coming from my stalker," he mumbled clearly, walking away without making a fuss, as I exhaled the air I unconsciously held within.

He walked out of his room and into the kitchen, me following quietly behind, not knowing what to do after that. He stopped as I bumped into his back. Lord, can this get more humiliating.

"Are you hungry?" Izaya asked, as I just stared at the back of his head since he didn't turn around to face me. "Wha-." Out of nowhere, suddenly, I was pinned to his counter, as he grabbed my chin again rather roughly. This is starting to get annoying.

He leaned into my face as he said seriously: "I don't like repeating myself, hun. Don't make me say this more than twice." I gave him a rather puzzled face, not understanding the meaning behind all this. As he repeated himself more clearly with space between his words: "Are - You - Hun - gry - ?" He turned his head side to side, as he mouthed the words, acting more annoying if that's even possible.

I couldn't take it anymore... Or, well, I could but I didn't want to, at the moment.

I gave him a hard push, as I used the same annoying tone as he did seconds ago, but only this time, walking towards him while doing so and ceased it childishly. Did I mention I pushed him? "I - Could - Ask - You - The - Same, - I - Za - Ya - San~~." We ended up reaching the end of the kitchen – another wall. Oh, how great.

"You know, I hate it when people boss me around. After all, I'm supposed to be a God," Izaya said, as he switched the tables: "And you're no exception." He grabbed a fistful of my humble hair, giving me a creepily insaned smile. "My annoying little Baka-chan~~," he said, giving my hair a little twist. "Are we giving each other nicknames?? Because I have a rather good one. My little schizophrenic Iza-sama~~," I smiled, rather proud of my words.

He chuckled, as his grip on my hair tightened, and before I could even grunt, he started banging my head on the wall countless times. I'm rather surprised the neighbours didn't wake up, now that I think about it.

"Sweet dreams~. BAKA!!" he said rather annoyingly, as he used the same nickname, he gave me moments ago before I fell unconscious. A painful sensation filled me up, as some red substance poured out of my head and everything turned black. Truly an eventful night. Note the sarcasm.

  
"Your gut knows what's up. Trust that bitch." – Unknown


	2. Pain Lives Between Us

(Reader's POV)

  
A rather delicious smell lingered the room I was resting at, as my eyes fluttered open, instantly craving whatever that wonderful smell was.

I tried getting up from the bed, as an extreme headache filled my head, to the point, I had to grab a portion of my hair, as if it would have ceased the pain. It didn't. It made it worse, which made a little grunt escape my lips, that didn't go unnoticed by Izaya.

"You shouldn't do that," I heard a sly voice say. Izaya. That's all my brain could say. Izaya. I was filled with rage. Izaya. He probably inflicted a scar on my head now. Izaya. I know it was my own fault but still, he could have called the police. Izaya. "I'll kill you, Izaya!! You hear me?! KILL YOU!!" I said unconsciously. What was supposed to be a simple thought, became a statement, threat even!!

A smirk grew upon his handsome face, as he said: "Feisty, I see. I'd like to see you try. But you'd be dead, before you even see it coming." he giggled lightly, as frightment washed my face, but as quickly as it came, it went.

"What's that smell?" I asked lightly, not directly to him, rather just to voice my thoughts. "Why, that's my home cooking. Since Namie isn't here, I had to make food myself. Want to taste?" Izaya asked, as my eyes started to shine excitedly. I, (Y/N), am going to taste heaven. How splendid!!

"To bad. I only made portion for one." Izaya said, as if he only said the simple truth. I want to cry.

He watched my expression, from the corner of his eye, only to be rather surprised. I was disappointed, even sad, at that. Something quite rare to touch his eyes, his expression told me. After what happened last night, I was actually willing to eat his food. Even without interrogating him. "Humans... Always so predictably unpredictable." he whispered to himself, as I gave him questionable look, but shook it off, since it's something he always says. It's basically in his nature now.

Izaya came closer to the bed and ruffled my hair, as he said "I was joking. I don't want you starving, after all." He gave me a loving smile. I never once thought I'd see him smile genuinely in my life, I guess, I was wrong.

I jumped out of the bed in excitement, only to fall over again. 'Shit, I forgot the damned headache!' Izaya somehow, managed to grab my arm, without injuring me any further, and pulled me up in his arms. Bridal style. 'Oh, how cliché, you sly bastard!'.

I yelped, as Izaya laughed at the sound and expression I made, I didn't even know I could do. "You might just become my favorite human, and that doesn't happen usually. You should be honored." Izaya announced, as he gave me a glance, and kept walking to the kitchen, where two plates filled with goods awaited us, steam coming out of them, signaling they were hot.

I tried to make Izaya put me down, even though it is a honor to be carried by the Izaya Orihara, but he kept on insisting on carrying me, almost as if he felt bad for what he did last night. That's something I didn't expect.

As Izaya carried me to the kitchen, I noticed sheets on one of his couches. 'He slept on the sofa?' I turned my head and gave him a puzzled face, waiting for an answer from the man in front of me. And he noticed.

"So you noticed, huh?" Izaya said, as he put me down on a chair at the dining table, and took a seat across from me. "Why didn't you sleep on your own bed?" I asked him, feeling kind of getting guilty, of my doings, which made me feel weird somehow. 'I'm getting worried? Maybe I have Stockholm syndrome?... Nah~.'.

"I didn't want to invade your privacy, after all, you did tell me to back off. But I appreciate your guilt, even though I should be the one feeling it, since it was me who inflicted pain upon you, and for that, I'm sorry. Truly." he uttered, looking truly sad, which was so out of character for him, but then again – all of this was.

A small smile tugged my lips, "I see. Even a beast needs his beauty sleep. And for that I apologize, not only for disturbing your sleep, but also for invading your private space, and selfishly telling you to back off, even though I should have been the one 'backing off', and for that I'm genuinely sorry." I implied, smiling brightly, to the point tears formed.

Izaya widened his eyes, looking shocked at my words, his mouth slightly agape, when he finally realised his doing, and composed himself. His eyes returned to their normal shape, while he looked in the depth of my eyes searchingly, as an awkward silence hugged us.

After sometime of just staring at each other genuinely, his eyes started going up and down my body, as a smirk formed on his face. A blush spread across my face to the tips of my ears, when I finally realised his doing.

His eyes made a round and again landed on my face, where he just closed his eyes and smiled at me, almost as if he did nothing, and was just simply happy to see my blushing face. He opened his eyes, as he tilted his head to the side and gave out a chuckle, while saying: "Enough with the sorries. The food is getting cold. Let's dig in!".

We ate in an awkward silence, as Izaya finally said something. "I just remembered, we actually don't know each other well. We first met each other last night. Let's start with the basics!" Izaya smirked, proud at his words. Getting to know the not so foreign man, might not be bad.

I smiled, as I nodded slowly, agreeing to his juster. "My name is-" I got cut off by Izaya, and what he announced shocked me, deeply. "(Y/N) (L/N). I know. I also knew you were watching everyone in ikebukuro, but me mostly. I know." Izaya smirked, as my eyes widened at every word he told me.

"Then what do you want to know?" I asked, slightly terrified of his skill, as I tilted my head to the side curiously. "Glad you asked~." Izaya said, as he got up and leaned closer into my face and continued "Why? Why me? And over all, why in the first place were you so interested in me?" he smirked smugly, as he sat down again.

I lowered my head, as I mouthed: "because... I love you," I said, hearing an insane laugh break from in between Izaya's lips out. I just stared at him, as his laugh slowly died out, and he said: "Love you say? You don't even know me! You probably just craved me, who knows, maybe you even lusted for me! Don't tell me you believe in love at first sight! How lame!" He started laughing hysterically again, as he said those words.

I stood up, rather violently, as tears spilled out of my eyes of sadness, and out of Izaya's of laughter, and slapped him across the face hard. His laughter died instantly, as his head hanged low, and I said or rather screamed: "HEARTLESS BASTARD! YOU MAY HAVE FOUND THAT FUNNY, BUT THAT'S NO WAY TO TREAT A WOMAN, OR HUMAN AT THAT! YOU'RE PATHETIC! DISGUSTING! I HATE YOU!!" I screamed, as tears streamed down my face.

I ran to the room I woke up in, just this morning, wondering why I haven't left. But I just can't show my face to him, anymore. I just don't wanna see him, anymore. And over all, I wanna die of humiliation. I hate you, Izaya.

  
"Keep the ones that heard you, when you never said a word." – Unknown


	3. The Fall of The Mighty

(Izaya's POV)

I flinched, as I heard the door slam shut. I'm not used to this much life in my apartment. Ever since I moved out from my "parents" house, it's all been so silent. Well kinda. I guess there have been some clients who've been a little loud. But not like this. No, this is something new, something I could get used to.

A smirk awoke upon my face, as the tingling sensation on my cheek worsened. Pain means nothing to me. At that, it even makes me feel alive, and I like that, though I will admit, rather in bed than like this. Just kidding.

I arose from my chair, as I walked stubbornly to my freezer, to get something to cool the growing bruise on my face. I send my blessing to Namie, for going grocery shopping before she quitted. She sure is missing out on something. I ain't.

The smirk just kept growing, but so did the pain, (Y/N) had inflicted on my poor cheek. Guess it's true what they say: 'Girls are so damn complicated.' Or I just had it coming. Probably both... Mostly number two, huh...

I sighed, as I returned the cooling pad in it's rightful place, and got up to say something I've been saying a lot lately. A shameful 'sorry'. I rolled my eyes at that thought, but kept going until I reached the door of my room, and lightly knocked on the door. It's your room, why are you even knocking?

I didn't get a respond, I only heard light sobbing coming from (Y/N), I guess she came to her senses and cooled down.

I sighed, as I finally spoke: "I know this may seem for nothing, or whatever... But... I'm sorry." No shit Izaya, you were not only laughing at her, you were mocking her, even more, pointing at her, you little dipshit! Ignoring my thoughts, I kept on with the useless apology. "I was being childish, (Y/N). Sorry." My voice cracked a little, at the last sentence, as I felt a tear fall from my eye.

You useless piece of shit! She's nothing more than a puny human, and look at you, you're a God. 'All equal before God' you said that yourself, idiot, so why are you putting her in a higher level, as if she is a goddess?! SHE'S NOTHING!!

A rather pathetic smile plastered on my face, as a tear or two fell down on my cheeks, and I rotated my head a little, so there wouldn't fall any more.

"Go away." I heard (Y/N) say in a rather muffled voice. She's probably pressing her face to one of my dear pillows.

"You know I'm not going to do that, and since you haven't left yet, you probably too, will not. Am I right?" I didn't need an answer, I knew it was true, after all she did break into my apartment, and no normal human would be able to do that.

I tried to open the door, but to my – fortune – it was locked. The thought of breaking down my own door flashed my mind, as the pathetic smile that once was on my face, turned into one of my few trademarks: A smirk.

As I heard nothing, but the remaining few silent sobs coming from (Y/N), I choose to say: "Are you gonna let me in or do I have to break down the door, before you'll face my handsome self?".

"Handsome you say? More like disgusting filth," she stated, as she rather fakely chuckled afterwards.

I have to say, the statement shocked me to my depth. I didn't expect such bitter hatred coming from a fan of mine. Well, maybe she isn't a fan. Uh, I don't even know anymore. "Is that a 'Come And Get Me' or 'Let Izaya-sama In'?" I raised my foot high up to the doorknob, knowing what she'll say; 'Come and get me'.

I heard her scoff, as she yelled: "Selfish bastard, do you think I'll let you in, after what you did?! All you do is ruin people's lives and you know it! YOU KNOW IT!! For once just have some heart and leave me on my own... all alone..." A sad chuckle erupted the silence, that came after her words.

I reached the lock of my heart, slightly hurt by her words. If only she knew the details, I do for you humans. If only you knew.

I let out a deep sigh, as I voiced the words: "I'll take that as a "Come And Get Me", dear." the word dear came out in a rather bitter tone, but I don't care anymore. I don't care, no more.

My foot connected with the door, as the sound of the crash filled my house, and a psychotic smile rose proudly on my face. I kept on kicking and stamping, until it finally broke down in three pieces precisely.

A yelp was heard coming from (Y/N), as I went in gently, not wanting to scare her, even if that was a little difficult, since I just broke down my own door, just for what? Talk? Yep!

I saw her sitting on the side of my bed with one foot down, and the other one on my bed, her knee reaching her face with some droplets of tears on it. She was shaking slightly, and her mouth was agape, which looked kinda funny to be honest.

As I went closer to her, her cheeks started to blossom the color red, to the tips of her ears. I scrunched down and put my hand on her knee, as she put the other down, and I treated it with the same treatment.

I looked into her eyes, searching for anything but that hatred, sadness, disappointment, anger, frustration, stubbornness, surprisement, confusement, curiosity, embrasement, loneliness of hers. Anything but those.

And I did. I found a tense aura filling her up. But not because of the situation, no, it was something entirely else.

And in the depth of her eyes I saw worriment. Worriment? Why is she so worried? Is she hiding something? Is there something going on in the city, that I don't know about? I see no frightment, that could have made her worried. And she knows I'm not going to hurt her. Why is she so worried?! Just... Who is she?

I tightened my grip on her knees, without hurting her, just making her know that I am here, as I looked hungrily in her eyes for answers and said: "Who are you, extracly?".

She started shaking furiously, as she broke eye contact with me multiple times, to look anywhere but my eyes. I kept the intense gaze on her, knowing she'll have to answer me eventually.

And I want that to be right now.

  
"Life is tough, my darling, but so are you." ~Stephanie Bennett-Henry


	4. A World of Amateurs

(Reader's POV)

"Who are you, exactly?" He voiced, looking deeply into my eyes, not wanting me to look away. And I just couldn't. Not with those eyes; as dangerously red as they look, as if he'll kill me if I do, as if hell lives in each orb of his, telling me what cruelty they've seen, what cruelty the God abandoned by his own guardian: Odin, and his kingdom: Asgard, landed upon, receiving his death penalty in the nothings of what's now his rotten home, waiting to be freed, waiting for Ragnarok. Beside, some part of me, didn't want to. He'll kill me if I do, if not, he surely wouldn't stay around quiet about it, how could he? He's an informant damn it. He's not supposed to do that.

"(Y/N)," Izaya uttered sternly. A question it was not, no this – this felt like a threat. I'm pretty sure now, he'll kill me.

Tears spilled out of my eyes, as I started trembling immensely, still trying not to make eye contact with that beast.

"G-get away from me," I quivered, almost sounding like a whisper, but he obviously heard me, and he wasn't happy about it. At all.

"(Y/N)!" he grunted, as he spoke my name, almost as if it was a curse, when a fist – or rather my fist – came flying to his fucking face. I'm sorry, I just had to say that. He let go of one of my knees and grabbed the wrist of the hand that was about to punch him.

"Let go of me, you piece of shit!!" I screamed and tried to push him away with my other hand, which wasn't held onto. "Stop it, (Y/N)!" Izaya shouted back at me and grabbed my other wrist, as he pinned me down on the bed, so I wouldn't move as much, or at least he'll have more control over the situation.

"Let me go, Izaya!" I tried to get out of his grip, only he just tightened it, as tears spilled out of my eyeballs and down my cheeks of frightment. She'll kill me, I know she will!!

"Just tell me, (Y/N)! I'll figure out anyway, anytime I want!!" he yelled into my face, as he raised my wrists and slammed them back on the bed to show me who's in control, and it sure wasn't me, which I didn't appreciate much, at all really. I will certainly not stay quiet about, I'll tell you that.

I spat on his face and announced loudly: "Great! 'Cause I ain't tellin shit!!" I raised my head acting rather rudely I might add, which he didn't appreciate much, at all.

His face was painted with a dangerous red of anger, I see, he isn't very patient. He chuckled darkly as he put my wrist side by side to claim them in one hand, and wiped the saliva off his face with the sleeve of the other one, (which I spat proudly on, as you probably already know). You would probably think he'd return his hand where it was before, as in the other wrist, but oh no he didn't, he put it on my hip. Oh yes, he did.

Izaya put his hand on my hip in a way of silencing me, and it sure as hell did. "Um, what are you doing?" I asked, as I stopped my every action. Once again, he chuckled darkly, as he looked down on my stomach or wherever he was looking.

... I guess there'll be lots of 'chuckling darkly' today. How annoying...

"Wouldn't you like to know, (Y/N) – or wait, is that even your real name? Hmm??" he stated, as he looked up into my eyes rather seductively, which made a tingling sensation fill me up like butterflies, sending a running shiver down my spine, and oh god he knew that. My jaw instantly fell down, lips apart, mouth agape, as he said those words. How dare he? "I'll let you know it is my given name, given by my own parents. Thank you very much," I declared rather annoyed of his tone.

"Really now?" he quivered with the same tone, smirking smugly, as if he's trying to get in my freaking pants! He looked down onto my stomach and back in my eyes two to three times, I think, making me quite uncomfortable, even though he only held my wrists with one hand, his grip was strongly firm, not something I'll get out off, anytime, soon.

Izaya moved his hand up from my hip, and went slightly under my black hoodie, which I haven't changed out off, since I came, lightly touching my skin, almost as if I'm a little kitten, he's afraid of hurting, because of his strong yet firm hands. And his smirk? Oh no, it only grew!

He towered over me, as he chuckled darkly at my stubbornness and puzzled frightment, rubbing my hip bone, as he leaned down into my ear and whispered intentionally sexily: "If I took you here, right here and now, would you tell me then? Be a good little girl and tell Izaya-sama who you are, exactly, so he doesn't have to go through the trouble of making love with you or torturing you. Hmm?"

"Nah-ahh~. I ain't telling! Besides would you rape a little girl, Izaya-sama?" I used the voice of a child and shaked my head, pouting childishly, making fun of his statement: "Good Little Girl", smirking a little to myself.

Izaya instantly withdrew his hand from my hip bone, still not letting go of my wrists, as he responded: "Oh Lord no, that's disgusting! And you know that (Y/N)! What would make you think that?! No, don't even mention it! Ew~!!" He started laughing lightly, as he chimed that, me laughing with him rather loudly, finding it disgusting myself. Izaya just stared into my eyes, almost as if he was fascinated by my comeback, noting it for another time, probably to use it against someone like Heiwajima-san.

"Are you gonna tell me or what?" He was still laughing a bit, as he spoke, slowing turning serious, as it was my turn to respond. "I told you, I can't tell you, besides I don't trust you, Izaya. You're a bloody Informant! how could I?" I told him, a little annoyed, he haven't got it through his brains yet.

I'm really not trying to be rude or anything, but I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, they'll kill me if I do so, I just... can't.

Izaya sighed: "I'll make this easy for the both of us... Well, – mostly me," Izaya voiced as he started to take his belt off, tightening his grip on my wrists. "Izaya...! Izaya, what are you doing! I'll scream if you don't stop! Izaya fucking Orihara!! Izaya!" I screamed trying to make him stop, but to no avail, he wouldn't.

Izaya wrapped the belt around my wrists, while my screaming, yelling, shouting and swearing calmed down to complete silence and a feeling of relief. Why is he walking away...? I thought he was going to rape me or something...? Not that I want him to rape me or something I'm just confused. God, I sound like a bloody tsundere! I'll just stop now!!

"This... This – is your punishment for making me sound like a pedophile, for not telling me who you are, spitting on my face, yelling at me, refusing me, breaking into my house, putting cameras in my house, insulting me, waking me up in my oh so dear beauty sleep, making me repeat myself multiple times, being an ungrateful woman and not eating the damn food I made for you, saying I'm schizophrenic, bossing me around, pushing me, putting your filthy blood on my walls and floor, threatening me, asking too many questions, making me say sorry so many damn times, slamming the door, slapping me, saying I'm 'disgusting filth', making me break down my own door, trying to punch me in my face, accusing me, and lastly – not trusting me. You know, I'm quite sad. You can say all you want about me, but that – no that – that was painful. Right in the heart," Izaya implied, as he lastly put a hand on his chest, making fun of the whole situation and me, when he was finally done with tying my hands to the bedpost. Tch.

I turned my head to the side: "If you're expecting me to say sorry, think again, 'cause I am not," I declared, not looking at him. "I know, that's why I'm leaving you here: For you to see, what a burden you have becomed to me." I turned my head instantly, as I heard those words; 'That's why I'm leaving you here.' Izaya smiled innocently at me.

"... What?!" I yelled at Izaya who was getting up, taking another belt from his closet, taking it on, ready to leave. "You heard me right, I'm leaving you here, to think of what you did wrong. Don't worry, I don't have any clients for a week. Take your time, my annoying little sweet (Y/N)-Baka-chan," Izaya bickered bitterly and Innocently.

"No, no, no ,no, no, no, NO!! Izaya, you can't leave me here! Not for a week, at least! I haven't even eaten yet!! Please don't-" I was cut of by Izaya, as he announced: "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!! I can leave you here! And I will do it for a week, if you don't tell me who you are! I did give you food, but you obviously didn't want it. You rather wanted to punch me in the face!! And lastly, to answer your question, as you probably wanted to say before I cut you off. Yes, I will and am going to leave you here!" Izaya spat coldly at me, making me want to cry.

He turned around and left me in the room of nothingness, not even the damn TV was open! Bloody Izaya, I swear!

"Come back here, so I can tear your dick off, if you even have one to begin with!" I declared to Izaya, trying to rip the belt off my wrists, as I heard Izaya respond: "Yeah, yeah... Do whatever you want, BAKA!" Well... That went well didn't it?

"There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page and closing the book." – Josh Jameson


	5. Reborn as Silver

(A/N): Try to find the pun I inputted in this chapter, guys. ω(oㅅo)ω

  
(Reader's POV)

As my screaming and shouting finally calmed down, finally realizing Izaya is not letting me go, anytime, soon. I'd have to be sly if I want to go, but then again, he did have a point to lock me in here, not to talk about, he actually did give me food, which I so rudely declined. Besides, he has been all sugar and honey since I came. Well, – kinda. But who can refuse a serving Izaya Orihara, when one loves nothing more but food? Well, I can't. By the way, did I mention I love food?

I flipped around on my stomach, bringing my knees up to my chest, pushing my feet out for the wide world to see, before putting them above the headboard, where he tied up my wrists, and pushed, groaning a little as the bed started croaking with the motion, going unnoticed by Izaya. Well, for now I guess.

When I formed a distance between bed and wall, I returned my legs under my chest, rising up slightly, looking like the animal: Kiwi, as I tried getting behind the fence; the bedpost.

I grabbed one of the few metal bars attached to Izaya's bed; the one my wrists were bound to, and swung my legs around it, getting behind the bed, making it Izaya to get out.

Going down in a squat, since it was the best way to get this damn belt off. I put my mouth on the belt, teeth gripping on, as if I was the predator and it was my prey, blistering my wrists slightly at the strength I put in, hurting myself quite a bit at my actions. He sure as hell tightened this bitch.

Right about three inches from the tip to the metal lock of it all; the bolt. I bit the leather and tore it out of the lock, trying not to damage my teeth in progress.

Feeling the belt loosening around my wrists, making a grin grow on my face of my victory, slowly but at the same time hurriedly taking my hands out. This was simply child's play.

You're so lucky I didn't cut the only proof of your manhood off, the first time I saw you, when you were sleeping, but I'm no coward, I'll do no such thing, as that, in your sleep. Though, I'll admit, I'm starting to plan on cutting your pride off, Izaya!!

Getting up from the bed, teeth slightly clenched together, because of my annoyance, wanting nothing but to rip everything he owns to sheds, grabbing the belt, because who knows, it might become handy.

Pushing, or rather slamming the door open, screaming: "IZAYA!! Where the fuck are you! I'll stab you. I ain't making fun, you know! Come out! Oh, you're so lucky I don't have a knife! IZAYA!!" Izaya didn't come out from wherever he is, so I took the matter into my own hands. If you're not coming out willingly, I, myself, will make sure you do so, manwhore!!

I walked into his office, still holding onto the belt, as if it was my lifeline, steam coming of my ears of fury, I was filled with red wrath.

Izaya instantly swung his head to me, as I slammed the door open, interrupting him and his paperwork, which I assume Namie once did for him, as his secretary.

Izaya's eyes widened, mouth slightly agape, as if in deep thought. And boy did I know why. I escaped, I'm a survivor, bitch! You thought you could mess with me? No, I messed with you! You thought you could fuck with me? No, I fucked with you! You thought you could control me? No, I controlled you, dickhead!!

I raised my arm, holding onto the belt tightly, as Izaya jumped out of his seat trying to escape, seeing what's coming, only to trip over his feet and fall down on his face, like the traitorous coward he is.

I chuckled at his failure, as I flicked the belt back down hitting his thigh. Izaya groaned, as he tried to stand up again before getting hit, since I'm far from done, which he probably could see, as of now. Run.

I flicked my wrist once again, the belt coming with it, hitting his back. Izaya squirmed, running away with a hand on his back, looking like penguin with no knees. "I thought you were a masochist, wouldn't you love pain?!" I hissed, as I laughed like a maniac, at the simple truth I spoke. He himself said he was a masochist, waiting for his sadist, so what's the problem, huh?

"What the fuck, (Y/N)?! You know that's not what I meant! Stop this, this instant! (Y/N)!!" Izaya yelled, slight confusing filling his words.

"Enlighten me then! What did you mean then?!" I yelled once again, bringing the belt back once again, still feeling like hitting him, using it to my advantage, so I'll get some answers properly.

"I'll tell, just stop hitting me with my damn belt!" Izaya spoke in seriousness before smiling and chuckling a bit. "I'll do so in one condition," I declared, the gravity running in between us, turning cold and into complete silence, making some tension run in the air, slightly going serious and quitter. "What is it?" Izaya begged, sensing the seriousness in my words, trying to read the expression I was giving him: Pleading.

"Hide- make me food. Yes, make me some food, a warm plate to fill my stomach, and then I shan't hit you again. I guess we'll see!" I declared, as I smiled hugely and fakely, laughing a bit awkwardly, trying to shake off the situation, "okay, I'll make you some food, if that'll make you stop hitting me," Izaya grumbled, as he looked at me suspiciously, knowing I want something entirely else, but just letting it be for now at least, as we started walking out to the kitchen, me long behind, feeling a bit insecure of my major failure, having one word repeat itself over my thoughts: Shit.

Why did I say that! I can't let him know! He'll sell the information away, not knowing what he's getting into, getting killed in the action. I'm so selfish, letting a man get killed so I won't, even though I probably will lastly in the process of hiding from my hideous everything. I hate myself. I hate everything. And mostly I hate her. Fuck you, whoever is looking down on me, laughing of my disastrous drama. And fuck you mostly. Just fuck everything. And particularly fuck her, while you're at it, kill her. So I don't have to go through the trouble of getting killed myself.

  
"I'm exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel." – Unknown

  
(A/N): Did you find it? (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	6. Glass Girl

(A/N): This chapter might be sensitive to some readers. The chapter contains a story about: Abuse, anxiety, assault, bad influence, bruises, brutal explanations of how to kill a child, bullying, depression, divorce, rape, and self harming. I was sick while writing most of this, so it might be weird. IDK. You have been warned.

  
(Reader's POV)

I sat on a chair in front of the counter in the kitchen, waiting for Izaya to finish warming up the vegetable soup, he made yesterday, getting drowned by my own thoughts.

"Is something the matter?" Izaya spoke, still facing the pot. "I've noticed you've been awfully silent, after asking me to make food. Is it because you let it slip, that you wanted me to hide you from whatever you're hiding from? Please, don't think I'm stupid, and wouldn't have noticed. You've given me all the pieces, I just need to piece them back together." Izaya turned around, as he had a bowl of soup in his hands, walking towards me and putted the bowl before me, as he took a seat in front of me.

"Tell me." He demanded, as I quivered shakingly, caressing the bowl he put in front of me, while I was looking down into the contents of the warm soup.

My ears catched the sound of screaming, as I looked down in the soup, knowing the sounds was all up in my head, not real, a reminder of past. A reminder I'm a failure, and that I don't deserve this food served in front of me. I'm safe. Finally.

"When I was younger – my mother tried to strangle me to death. She had done that many times actually," I admitted, as I looked down into the warm bowl, getting all tense of the memories, which were storming back.

"At six, she threw me at a wall, because her and dad had argued, and wanted to let her anger out on me. At eight, my father brought another woman home and mom was furious, he was tipsy, and him and the woman were kissing immensely, as he grabbed her ass. Mother started screaming and grabbed a portion of the hair from the woman, calling her a whore as she punched dads jaw, and I just started screaming," I voiced, as I put a hand over my mouth, blocking the cries from exiting my throat.

"Usually they hit me, not each other, it happened so fast that I just didn't know what to do, so I just... Screamed," I started crying lightly, not believing I'm still able to produce tears.

"Daddy then – then threw the beer bottle at me. Everything just turned black. He hit my head. The next day I woke up on the floor, I was standing on precisely, last night, with broken glass pieces surrounding me. They left me there to die. I might not be dead, but they wouldn't have cared either way, after what happened last night – fuck that, they never cared. It's always been about them and their needs, never (Y/N). I was simply a production of their love. Later the same year, they got divorced. My father didn't want me, so mother ended up getting burdened by my presence," I uttered, relaxing my shoulders slightly, knowing the story will get worse and worse.

"She drew us to Tokyo. The whole drive, she was talking about how ugly I was, how dumb I was, that she didn't want me and no one did, that everyone hated me. The abuse got worse, as we got to Tokyo. Teachers, classmates, mothers friends, everyone suddenly knew what was going on at home. Mother had threatened me, if I said a word, she'd cut my tongue off, and let me drown in my own blood. I always said no, when asked, even though my heart was screaming yes. Yes, she's killing me! Please, save me, I don't want this anymore, no more, please, someone! But no one ever came," I cracked up, as the soup no longer felt warm for me, I needed some other kind of warmth. Love.

"At twelve, I got bullied because of my bruised filled body, which covered me up, and everyday I got new ones to replace the old, that still lingered on my skin. I was like a toy to her. Abused. Sometimes I even told myself, that dad would come back and everything will be good again, or that someday someone would find out and save me, 'cause I couldn't. I was terrified. I was so afraid, still am. I can't believe I had the nerve to run away, I'm so afraid," my hands circled around my arms, pressing my nails in, as I cried in silence, still no word being heard from Izaya, still not taking the chance to face him and see what he's thinking.

"At thirteen, the bullying at school got worse. It wasn't as bad as home, but you know, one gets mentally tired of not getting a break. I was strictly forbidden from coming home late. School and then home. Nothing more, nothing less. I got depressed at fourteen and my grades were shit. They used to be decent, but when I got depressed, I not only didn't want to study, but also intentionally didn't do it. The teachers didn't care, but then again they never did. Mother cared – and she was furious. She wanted me to be the best, she said if I did that, I'll get to go out, but only if it also benefited her in some way. Her friends had been showing off with how their children were the best of their classes, and how they adored them. I guess, she got jealous, and wanted me to be like those children, so she could show off too," I sighed, as I continued ranting.

"I got a job and gave her fifty percentage of my money every month, for 21 weeks. It was a decent job, though if the school found out, I would have been expelled." I sighed again, finding it all so absurd, just wanting to finish the story as fast as I can. But there was no way to do that.

"At fifteen, I found a better job and bought a computer, I learned myself how to hack and find information, it was really just a hobby. When I found out you could get money from selling information, I was euphorical, really happy. I stopped working and started selling information, I never told my mother, since she only thought of the money. I gave her the same amount as my last job, even though I started getting a lot more money. I brought foundation to cover my bruises and got really good grades, life was a lot better than before, she didn't hit me as much and the bullying stopped, well until... Dad came back. He couldn't recognize me, but I sure as hell could recognize him. I got a job from someone who liked going under "blank" to get some classified information of father to the client. He was with another woman. He looked so happy and... And they had three children surrounding them. One in his arms and the two other girls, probably twins, running around joyfully and happily. He was thrilled. And I was getting abused. He left me. He couldn't even recognise me. I couldn't do the job. I broke down that day crying as the traffic drowned my cries. No one could see me, because I was hidden in an alleyway. I was the only one who knew what happened that precise day. No one knew, and to this day still nobody knows. That day I knew no one would help me." Izaya is the first to know, the only, an information broker, how stupid can one get. That's (Y/N) for you! Why don't you give her a hand?!

"At sixteen, my mother got a boyfriend from the yakuza, and believe me when I say, if he wanted anything, he'd get it. He turned out to be the boss, but not only that, he was known for raping young girls before selling them off. I have my sources. My mother never hit me, while they were together, but sometimes, sometimes, he'd be all touchy, and the look he'd give me as he stroked my thigh, or as he whispered disgusting things into my ear, or as I heard him and mother having sex, or as he grabbed my ass, chuckling. I felt utterly disgusting," I confessed, as I pressed my nails harder into my skin to block the mental pain I'm going through with physical.

"One day at nineteen, when I came home from school, and mother still wasn't home, he came into my room and – and tried to assault me. He pushed me to the wall, touching me all over, ripping parts of the uniform off my body, as he whispered disgusting things into my ear, then he pushed me on the bed and jumped on top of me, as he spread my legs apart making my skirt go along the motion. He cupped my – and I just couldn't so I... I took the lamp from my nightstand, beside my bed, and smashed it on his head. He went unconscious, as I pushed him off my body, grabbed a bag, and filled it up with everything I needed, and ran. I didn't want to be there anymore. I've had enough. I'm so done. Rape? I can't do rape. They'll kill me if they find me. I can't go back. I can't. Please help me, I don't wanna go back! Don't send me back! Izaya, I'm begging you, please don't! Please, I'll do anything! Anything!! Please. I can't go back. Izaya!!!" Tears screamed to be seen and heard, as I spoke and apart I broke, hugging myself because of my lack of comfort, I didn't want to be some toy for when he gets bored.

Izaya slipped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his chest, putting his chin on top of the crown of my head, whispering comforting words into my hair: "Everything will be good again. Hush, little girl, everything will be fine. No one's going to hurt you. Please, don't cry. You did what you had to do." Izaya played with my hair, as I grabbed the chest of his shirt crying into it, mercilessly and ferociously.

"Izaya... Izaya... You're the first to know, so please don't tell anyone. I'm afraid. I'm so afraid. Please don't!" I cried, as I twisted his shirt, bowing my head, as if I was begging, and really in that moment I was pleading him. I don't want to die, knowing nothing in my life has ever been right. Knowing I have and always will be a mistake. Don't tell me I'm wrong, because I know I'm not.

"I'm not going to say anything about anyone if you don't want me too. It'll be our little secret... That's why you put cameras in my house. To make sure they still haven't reached Ikebukuro yet, to make sure you're always one step ahead... I'm not dumb, you know... Not one bit... I'll always find out, one way or another..." Izaya swore, as he moved slightly, looking down onto me to make sure I was alright, caressing the top of my head, as if I was a child.

"Thank you... Thank you so much, Izaya... Thank you." I repeated smilingly, as I rubbed my eyes off from the tears, which didn't work, since the tears wouldn't stop flowing.

As I rotated my head, rubbing my cheek into the warmth of his chest, he broke silence with: "I won't tell if," Izaya pushed me away gently to look into my tear filled eyes, bringing his thumb up to remove the waters, as he continued: "You become my assistant. You know how to do things already, so I don't have to explain much, plus you're a fast thinker, you know how to get out of stuff. Look at what you did to my bedroom for example. I need someone like you. Become my assistant, (Y/N)," Izaya offered or rather announced, as he looked into my eyes with all seriousness, but behind all that I saw worriment. He's worried about me?

"Ha, using the situation on your behalf. How clever," I agreed, rubbing the last tears away with the sleeve of my hoodie, which I'm still warring, smirking slightly of his stubbornness. He wants what he wants, huh?

"You don't say so. So is that a yes?" Izaya questioned, grinning creepily, as he raised his eyebrows like a happy child. Ha! This won't end up good! I'll smack his ass!!

I put a hand on his face and pushed him away, saying: "You leave me no choice Izaya. Now get a move, my soup is running cold. Who likes a cold soup, anyway?!" I laughed, as I started eating the soup adoring it's taste: Home. Izaya started walking away, shaking his head, lightly grinning, putting a hand on where I pushed him, as if being ashamed, before he stopped and turned his head slightly, but not enough to see his handsome face. "You stink," Izaya cooed as he chuckled afterwards, and started walking again to the exit.

"Fuck you! I wasn't the one kidnapping a not-so-innocent girl, begging her to become my assistant, and when she said no, banging her head into the wall, starving her, then play all innocent and sweet and make her tell her deepest darkest secret to you, just to blackmail her, – now was I?!" I proclaimed, laughing a bit, redness spreading across my face of embarrassment.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever..." Izaya mumbled, as he laughed hysterically, while shaking his head, and walking out, finally leaving me a blushing mess. Fuck you Izaya, telling me I stink... dumbass.

  
"Whoever is trying to bring you down, is already below you." – Boonaa Mohammed


	7. Passionate Showers

(Reader's POV)

"Izaya! Where's the bathroom?!" I proclaimed, standing in the middle of the two rooms, which was his kitchen and bedroom. "Two doors to the left!" Izaya answered from his office. Wait, isn't it a study? Like there's a couch, bookstands, television and whatever else you need. This isn't a office, is it? I'll ask him later... Probably...

The thought of going around exploring his mansion made my inner child jump out. I guess watching all that Dora The Explorer paid off, since I found the room. Don't judge.

When I finally found the room, I exclaimed: "Found it! Thanks!!" Izaya then responded with a: "No need to thank me, sweetheart!" I muttered quietly to myself: "Bastard," as I went on with my day. Why does he always have to call me all kinds of nicknames? It's so embarrassing! Sweetheart? No!!

I locked the door, as I found a towel and put it on the side for later use. I grabbed the hem of my shirt and slowly took it off, groaning a little with the motion, before coming to a stop and finally got it off, so I could relax my shoulders again. My neck is so sore. What did I even do to deserve this kind of soreness?!

I opened the zipper of the slacks I was warring and took the edges of each fabric and clashed them together to get the button unplugged and slid them off my legs, as they gathered around my ankles. It's like these comfortable ones that'll make your ass look like Mount Everest without you really trying. I would do me any day, any time.

I took the remains of my clothes off, which considered of panties and a sports bra and stepped into the pouring warm water, and let it cascade my skin as I inhaled deeply before exhaling all my worries and all my stress – Well, most of it, anyway.

After some minutes passed of me being under the showerhead thinking, I started taking a shower instead of just standing there, which only God knows how long I did.

I took some shampoo, which actually was men's shampoo. Nah, whatever. I stink anymore. I took the lid off and poured some into the palm of my hand, as some bobbles came out of the tube hole.

As I tried putting the lid back on, it slipped out of my hands, fell down and hit the floor. Some of the substance came out and formed a pool on the tiles. "Shit," I mumbled, as I tried to spread it out on the floor to reduce it. But boi was I wrong...

As I felt myself slipping, or rather gliding away with the water and the tiles, I danced like I've never danced before, as if my life depended on it. I grabbed the shower curtains, as my legs started to buckle underneath me. Why did I have to use so much shampoo?! God Damn it, (Y/N)!!

"Okay (Y/N), you can do it. You just have to step out, take the shower head, and rinse it away. Okay. Okay," I hoped, and when I tried waking out of the pool of very slippery substance, I accidently slipped and took the curtain with me.

"(Y/N)? Are you alright? Can I come in? Please, open the door," Izaya pleaded as he knocked on the door and voiced again: "(Y/N)??" He chimed, his voice dripping with worry, "(Y/N)?!" Izaya shouted from behind the door as I was trying to find my voice and readjust my sight: "Yeah! Yep, I'm alright! But your curtain isn't... Sorry. I can fix it, you know," I claimed nervously, as I tried getting up again to resume with my day, "Are you sure?" Izaya asked as I nodded, forgetting that he couldn't see me. Stupid. "Yes! Very!!" I yelled as I had finally got up. "Okay..." He said, as he stepped away from the door and went on with his day.

I grabbed some shampoo again, and massaged it into my skull: "Ahh~, this is exactly what I needed," I moaned as I massaged even deeper: "Mmm~," I purred as I heard a voice chuckle: "Ha, seems like you are enjoying that shower a bit too much. Are you masturbating, (Y/N)?" Izaya asked as my blush resembled a beet. "NO!!" I screamed as I let loose of my scalp, and Izaya responded: "Whatever you desire, my queen," as he giggled a little. "I didn't!!" I exclaimed as Izaya accused: "Says the child with chocolate all over her face, who refused to admit she had eaten anything. Guilty." I could just see his smirk through the door, I could feel it, I know it. What a bastard.

"Izaya," I spoke in a serious matter. When Izaya didn't respond but only give me a small laugh, I continued: "I didn't," I finalised as I continued showering. "Relax. I was just having fun teasing you, honeybear," Izaya announced as I started to blush. Dumb ass. "Enjoy your shower, (Y/N)," He left as he spoke as a final, chuckling a little as I heard his shoes staccato along.

I rinsed my hair of the slippery substance and grabbed the conditioner to condition my hair. No shit. Why are you being rude? I'm not! Yes you are, bitch! Who are you calling a bitch, huh?! As I ignored the bitc- the sweet brain of mine, I finally finished the shower after a round of shower gel.

I grabbed the towel I had prepared, and put it on my body for protection. Protection? You can't be serious. And unlocked the door to ask Izaya if I can borrow some of his clothes or something until I can go home.

"Izaya! Can I borrow some of your clothes or something?!" I screamed from behind the office door before walking in to hear his answer.

Izaya who had his elbows on the desk, hands together as if he was praying, and thumps under his chin, with his eyes closed as if in deep thought. This is when I realised he was in too deep to have heard me. He was probably planning a scheme of some sort. Stupid genius.

I walked closer and putted my hand on his shoulder and whispered gently, trying not to disrupt his state of silence. Izaya's eyes opened and instantly looked at me with this kind of distance. His eyes: Brick stones, locking everyone and -thing out, till there's nothing back but cold stones and a forever jail sentence for he who has owns them: Only him; Izaya.

I took a step back, quite shocked of this kind of coldness. What happened? His eyes softened after he had seen my worried and frightened state, therefore he rotated his chair 90 degrees and smirked at me. "Well, well, well, what do we have here? A (Y/N) completely naked, having only a towel to hide her beauties. I guess you want some clothes, am I right?" Izaya hummed, as I just tried to ignore what just had happened, and jump on to the train and play along.

"Yeah, can I borrow some?"I purred, smirking a little myself for some reason. "Oh, can you (Y/N)?" Izaya asked me, as if I was suppose to have the answer. Is he being serious right now? "Good question. Can dear (Y/N) borrow some clothes of the godly Izaya, can she? Good question, Izaya," I played along as I raised a brow still smirking.

His smirk widened as he exclaimed: "Of course you can, (Y/N)! Though, I must admit, I would like you more in my towel," Izaya pushed, as he walked into his bedroom, where his almost empty walk in closet was, and gave me a pair of boxes and one of his v-necks. Boxes? Whatever, I can't fit any of his pants anyway, probably. "Here you go! Have a nice stay here!" Izaya cooed as he walked away without looking at me in a hurried state, as if he wanted to get away from me, or maybe he just wanted to let me change in peace. Either way, I was deadpanning because of his behaviour and the way he acted at the moment. Whatever.

  
"Life doesn't hurt until you think about how much things have changed, who you've lost along the way, and how much of it was you fault." – Unknown


	8. Mouth Whispers

(Reader's POV)

"Izaya! Why am I here?!" I demanded answers of him from the other side of the penthouse, "Because you are my assistant!" Izaya answered back to make sure he got heard, "HUH?! I didn't agree to that!" I exclaimed kinda puzzled, on my way to his office again, "Yet, you didn't disagree! Besides, I'm not giving you choices!" Izaya bitched as I came into the room, "Not giving me choices?! Ha! Should I walk out right now?!" I mocked feeling proud of my words.

Izaya's facial expression changed instantly, he got up from his chair and walked towards me holding his blank expression, not even closing his eyes once, it was kinda terrifying, to be honest.

He pressed me against the door I've just come out of and put his hands into his pocket, slightly pressing his hips against mine. Well, I wouldn't say pressing but rather brushing. It wasn't on purpose, it was the effect of shoving his hands into his pants pockets. I would even say it was normal to do so.

Izaya held his head low, smirking and swinging to himself, before raising his head in a radius manner. When his head landed to its original place, he had a goofy smile on his lips as he said: "Then walk out. Let's see what happens then. Let's see what happens..." Izaya dared as he blinked with his eyes rather seductively. What the bloody hell is he on about?! Should I walk out?! Huh?!!

"Okay..." I voiced as I squeezed myself out and was already walking out of the room. When I grabbed the knob of the door Izaya grabbed the wrist of the hand laying on my side: My hip.

As Izaya grabbed my wrist I looked into his eyes, rather confused and then down at my wrist again, then returning my eyes to him, "(Y/N)," he purred as he let go of my wrist and walked off to his office chair.

I looked at him weirdly and held my head then walked off myself out of the room, on my way out.

What? I thought as I went into "my" bedroom to get my clothes to change. Wait... It's in the wash!!

"GODDAMNIT, IZAYA!! YOU'RE NOT PLAYING BY THE RULES!!" I jawed as I was ripping my hair out of my skull and cursed at Izaya in small whispers that he obviously couldn't hear since I was on the other side of the house.

"I love you too, honey!!" Izaya responded back as he started laughing hysterically and I heard something heavy fall on the floor. That was probably him too.

"I FREAKING LOVE YOU!!" He declared as he laughed even more, "You should have seen your face! You thought I was gonna kiss you!" Izaya accused as he laughed even more.

What's so funny? I stormed into his office and groaned in anger as I crossed my arms and put one of my legs a little in front of me down in this manner. I looked like one of those teenagers from Mean Girls but waaaay sassier.

Izaya stopped laughing and looked at me smugly, "I know you love me~" Izaya purred as he got up from the floor and smirked, "No, I don't!" I barked at him as I raised my foot and put it down again in a hard manner, childishly. I'm such a child...

"Yes, you do!" Izaya accused me as he stepped closer to me and moved his head like some thug while wearing a smile, giggling lightly, "No, I don't!!" I seethed as I jumped like a child. Douche. "Yes, you do!!" Izaya cooed as he stepped even closer and bent a little down on his knees, you know as if he was talking with someone smaller than yourself. I'm not that small... he's just a tall bastard...

"Izaya, I fucking don't!!" I hissed as I took my hand up and swung it in a manner like Donald Trump would do. You know that thing he does with his hands when he is trying to make a point, like bitch! I know I'm right! And bitch! I know I'm a bitch! Bitch! I love me! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Biiiiiitch!! That way.

Izaya stepped back as he urged: "Jeez girl, calm your tits, I was just making fun... Unless... Or maybe, you do like me, do you?" Izaya pulled his eyebrows up in a childish manner. He is making me so frustrated that my face will soon be permanent red. Filthy! Bastard! Monster! Sadist! Idiot! Dipshit! Psychotic! Schizophrenic dumbass!!

"NO!!" I screamed as he stepped back acting as if he was shocked but I could literally see his dick about to bust out of laughter! Argh!! Izaya changed his expression in an instant that it even terrified me. Why is he smirking at me? Freaking rape face...

Izaya ran over to me and grabbed each side of my hips and lifted me high up in the sky while twirling around like a father would do to his child. I gasped of his sudden movement and held on to his shoulders, head and hair, as Izaya just screamed of laughter of my frightment as he lifted me to the top of his desk, still laughing at all my screams and gasps. That's it.

As Izaya put me down on the desk, he stood in between my legs and chuckled a bit of my face that didn't know how to look and feel, while he wiped off his tear-filled eyes of all that laughter, and I just looked at him, I just looked.

Suddenly I felt my cheeks wetten. Izaya widens his eyes as he looked at me, backing off but at the same time closing the space between us. His eyes looked distant, the kind of distant who had trouble understanding, but his body was coming closer, bringing a hand up to my face, caressing it in rather slow movements but comforting, "What's wrong?" He asked as he drew his eyebrows together, trying to think of what he did wrong, but the truth is he did nothing wrong, the only thing he did, that was wrong, was to welcome me in his house. I'm a disgrace.

Tears started running down from my face in waterfalls as I started sobbing. He did nothing wrong. I told myself as Izaya asked me again, hummingly: "(Y/N)..." he didn't exactly ask, it was whether a statement as if he was saying: "You can tell me anything" but letting me fill the gaps. But I needed him to tell me, not the chance of my low IQ brain fill the gaps, and make me feel like I'm needed, even though no one needs me, to make me feel like I should feel, even though I choose not to feel, to make me feel like I have a chance with someone, even though I'm as useless as the stem on top of any fruit. I'm not a the but an a, I'm as useless as wisdom teeth are. I'm a waste of air. I shouldn't laugh, I don't deserve to laugh.

I pushed Izaya away, as I busted out crying, jumping off the desk, while Izaya grabbed my wrist, trying to get me to tell him, pulling me into a hug, the warmest hug filled with so many emotions. I relaxed into the hug and cried into his arms while ripping his v-neck and crying into his shirt, my knees buckling underneath me. You don't deserve him nor his attention, he shouldn't even know that you exist. You're a shame to humanity.

I pushed Izaya away again and ran into the room, I've been living in for the past two days. I slammed the door hurriedly and slipped down on the floor as I put my hands over my mouth to block my hysterical cries, which obviously didn't work. Here I was crying my eyeballs out until death the reaper came by because he thought I was dead. If I got a dollar for every time I started crying of frustration, stress and getting pressed to do things that I don't want to do, I would be rich by now. And this is not something to be proud of. I'm sorry Izaya, you did nothing wrong. I'm just wrong.

  
"You might feel worthless to one person, but you are priceless to another. Don't forget your value." – Unknown


	9. The Field of The Dead

(A/N): This chapter might be sensitive to some readers. The chapter contains: Abuse, anxiety, assault, bad influence, bruises, delusional, depression, hallucinations, rape, schizophrenia, self harming and sounds. It might be weird, since my emotions where everywhere while writing this. IDK. You have been warned.

(Reader's POV)

Silence.

Such a mental silence it hurts. But it's not any silence, it's the silence, the kind of silence where you no longer can hear your thoughts, only the mourning of the dead screaming. The kind of silence that hurts to the point, one has to- needs to insert one's nails into one's arms, so one can breathe. Let me breathe. You're not me, you are dead, and you've been dead for awhile, did you listen to anything I've said? And you won't wake up, you just won't. Let me live, let me live, just because God doesn't feel the need to forgive, does it not mean you have to make my life shit. Let me sleep, let me weep because God knows this is too much, way much, only God should judge, so why is it the voices are claiming I'm dead and unloved? I am dead and unloved.

Where is my mommy?

"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed, I broke down. Izaya pounded at the door as he tried to push it open, "(Y/N)!!" He yelled as he started hammering his shoulder into the door, trying to get it open, but to his dismay I was sitting on the other side, looking vulnerable and there is no way in hell he'll see me in this stage. No.

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I sobbed, as I banged my head on the door, once, twice and thrice. Shit. "... ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!" I sobbed, screamed once again, as Izaya banged on the door harder, trying to get in, while groaning at the rough motion. No.

He tells me to touch him down, down, down, all the way down. He tells me to kiss him up, up, up, all the way up. I tell him I don't want to, I tell him that I don't want this. Stop. He tells me to shut up, he tells me to suck harder and swallow him up. I tell him to stop, but he keeps on touching, whispering, leering and sucking on his bottom lip, holding in his gRoANs which isn't working. Suck. I need this to stop. I need everything to stop. I need everything to stop so I can just stop. Stop.

"GEt AwAaAAaaaAaaAAAAaYyYYyyyYYYyYY!!!" I screamed again hysterically. He probably thinks I'm insane. BeCAuSE You aRe. And this is where it happened.

Drowning. Drowning. Drowning. I'm drowning. ChOKinG!! He's is choking me, drowning me in the bathtub!! SCreaMiNG!! I'm screaming, but no one is coming, but I'm dying!! Why is no one coming, can't you hear me?! Help!!!! Why is no one coming? BeCAuSE You aRe DEaD.

"ARGHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." My scream died out in the middle of it all, as I brought my hands up to my face, throat, across my chest to my arms, wrists, hands again before letting go and placing them on my torso, down my hips, thighs, knees, legs, ankles, feet, toes before letting go and placing them on my tense shoulders, my arms forming an X, bringing them up to my face slowly as if not wanting to disturb myself, as I brought myself down and with the motion I had moved a bit away from the door.

Izaya opened the door and pressed himself in, looking around hastily before turning around and looked at me in concern, shock, frightment, Izaya was afraid of me. He is afraid of you, (Y/N).

I fisted my hands and brought my legs up, in a way of hiding myself from the embarrassment that is me. I am disgusting. I am psychotic. And I am much more. I am disgusting. I am psychotic. And I am much more. "I deserve death."

Silence.

The silence was all I could hear.

And honestly the only thing I wanted to hear.

And in that moment I wanted to disappear.

But before I do that, I want to appear,

I want to be seen by the eyeless.

"I'll be your death then." 

 

"Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always." – Ian Maclaren.


	10. Pound

(Reader's POV)

"I'll be your death then," he said as he scooched down, caressing my knees and smiling sweetly at me. Wasn't he afraid of me seconds ago? I thought as I raised my head looking dead into his eyes. "I'll be your death then," he told me to- why? Why me? Not like it's the first time he meets someone suicidal or whatever. He's gonna push me off a building and look at me as if it's the best day of his life and I am just a speck of dust. And soon I'll be nothing but a permanent blood stain on the bottom of the building. Nothing but an unwanted blood stain, even after my death I'll be unwanted and hated, even after my death. I shivered at that thought and looked down again as my hair gathered before my forehead, in a way of hiding, almost as if my hair was metal bars, building my own jail. My own happy ever after. Cool, right?

"Don't look away. Look at me while I'm talking," he said in the gentlest voice, in a way, I've never heard before, in a way that his voice calmed me inside and out. He grabbed my chin gently and slowly brought it up to face him, my hair falling back to its original place, widening my eyes at his gentle way of doing. Who is this man? And where did Izaya go?

"That's better. Now, are you gonna tell me why you were screaming like you did, hmm?" he hummed in a gentle way yet there was a somewhat fake playfulness to hide the concern that was on display on the way his hands moved. Do I concern him? Do I concern you?

I instantly scrunched up my face in a distasteful way, as I tried to push him away, whispering a lot of nos, while shaking my head like a maniac. And God was I crying again.

Izaya grabbed onto me, in a hug, and swung his arms over my shoulders and around my head in a strong grip, and inappropriately sat in between my two legs. Oh my god no, he just did not do that!

"Let go! What are you doing?! Izaya!!" I pushed, hit and banged my hands and the heel of my foot into his back, which made him groan loudly, as he grabbed onto my right shoulder from my left side, behind from my back, before letting go and grabbing onto my serratus anterior with one hand and the upper side of my thigh, my iliotibial band, with the other hand, and with that, he got up from the floor and lifted me up as well, as I wrapped my legs around his torso and my arms around his neck, screaming, not wanting to fall to my doom. Izaya in the meanwhile was laughing and groaning since his whole back was probably filled with bruises by now. Sorry, not sorry.

"Where are you taking me?" I sighed as I found out my outrageousness would do me nothing but hurting my vocal cord. "Do you trust me?" Izaya asked as he brushed his head into mine as a way of reassurance, while I leaned onto him and placed my head on his shoulder in a way of resting. Do I trust him?

No.

Or yes.

? ? ?

I chose not to answer this question since I didn't know, and to this, he hummed smugly. I could just hear the smirk radiating from him, feel it. Why can't I answer this question? Do I trust him? It's easy, yes or no? No or yes? Just answer. And if not. Just stop thinking about it since it'll be useless. I wouldn't be surprised if you did. After all, you are useless. You are useless, (Y/N).

"Let go," I spoke in a stern and sure voice. "Let fucking go of me," I demanded as I widened my eyes and looked at the floor in the most hateful way as possible. If looks could kill, then the floor would have disappeared before you would have known.

I could feel the shiver that ran down his spine as I spoke in a hateful manner. I released the grip from my thighs that now once were wrapped around his torso and held onto his shoulders so I could get off. Izaya, on the other hand, was still holding on to me, as he walked over to the counter and placed me there while standing between my legs.

"What's your problem?" Izaya jawed as his gentleness disappeared and the cruel yet true Izaya surfaced. "What have I done to earn that hateful voice and manner of yours?" Izaya said as on cue he grabbed onto my thigh close to my knee in a painful way and placed his other hand awfully close to my hip bone so I couldn't go away.

I kept quiet as I lowered my head. Please let go of me, please, I can't do this, I haven't taken my pills, my medicine, and it fucking hurts, let go, let go, let go, let go, let go, let go, "Please, let go of me, you're hurting me... Please... Please..." I quivered as I lowered my head even more.

Izaya instantly lets go of me and mumbled something as he walked away leaving me with my unstable breathing and my soon to be bruised knee as I slowly calmed down, before he came back, "... Rhabdophobia, huh... Do you take pills? Regularly, I mean, to treat it? Your phobia? Anxiety pills?" he asked as he walked up in front of me with his hands into his pockets.

I didn't answer him. I didn't need to. Why should I? Don't want him spreading my condition around town. Yet you told him. Yet I told him. I gave him one nod. One, and he was already out of the door to wherever his destination is and left me on the counter, not that I mind, I like being alone.

As I had stabilised my breathing, I got off the counter one foot at a time. I walked over to the bedroom and took a blanket and pillow, I then proceeded to walk over to the couch and placed the blanket on top of it on the armrest and the pillow on top of that. I found the remote and turned on the TV and pushed the Netflix button that was on the remote. Wait... One can't watch Netflix without snacks!!

A grin was drawn on my face as that thought crossed my mind, and off I went on my little journey as Dora The Explorer. I am thirsty for Zac Efron's eight-pack. I adore that stomach of his and would watch it all day. Literally. I would call him hulk for that eight-pack if the Hulk of Ikebukuro, didn't already exist, but then again Zac is too much for me. I would black out if I saw him in real and then when I wake up again I would kill myself because I blacked out while he was literally standing in front of me!! I only watch Zac Efron movies on special occasions. And this is not a special occasion.

I opened the fridge and took out a two-litre bottle out of soda and put it on the counter and went to the cabinet to get a cup and a bowl and placed them beside the two-litre soda. I opened the refrigerator to get some ice cubes and put them into the cup, then I opened another cabin with popcorn and chips. And he says he doesn't like sweet things. Liar. So much for that lie.

I took the popcorn and placed it in the microwave before I took the cup with ice cubes and the soda and walked back to the couch and placed it on the table in front of the couch as I sat down.

I grabbed the remote humming along with the air surrounding me as I scrolled through the movies and series finally picking one: Black Mirror.

I heard a ding after two minutes and hurriedly went up to grab the hot popcorn which was a big fat fail since I instantly let go of them because their hotness was too hot for little petty me.

I turned on the cold water and let it cascade the palm of my hand, not that it hurt that much, I just don't want a blister or anything.

I turned the water off and dried my hands with a towel as I went down to take the popcorn and then grabbed the bowl and the bag of chips I had prepared before and walked back to the couch for the third time, I think. I'll stay here all day, I swear.

I sat down on the couch and placed the popcorn, bag of chips and the bowl beside the rest of the snacks I brought. I opened the bag of popcorn and chips and mixed them into the bowl and started the serie and sighed. This will be a loooooong ass day.

  
"Breathe." – Everyone really


	11. Netflix And Chill

(Reader's POV)

I heard the door open as I repositioned into the sofa to make sure every muscle could relax and they did. I just kept watching as if the door didn't open as if Izaya didn't enter his humble home. I must admit though that stunt I pulled before was quite embarrassing. I thought to myself as I curled deeper into the sofa and just kept watching with my bowl placed on my stomach filled with goods.

Izaya entered his humble, home the sunshine into the house from the window, Willson Effect, yawning to the sunset, one could say he looked like a Singha statue, bright like the sun in front of us, making him look like a sun god, which is quite funny, since he thinks, he's a God. And with his yawn, he closed his eyes.

I looked at him while eating chips, as he opened his eyes and his mouth closed, the yawn ending. He looked at me puzzled, as his eyebrows gathered on his forehead. He came closer to the couch and said: "scooch over," as a small smile rose upon his face. I raised my legs into a fetal position.

Izaya took his infamous jacket off and threw it in my face since I'd put my head on the armrest because I'm lazy. Don't judge. I tsked at his action and grabbed onto one of his infamous trademarks hoarsely off my face, as I saw Izaya sitting in front of me with a sly smirk plastered on his face. Pissed at his action, I threw it in his face, as he chuckled lowly.

As Izaya removed his parka, I returned my legs to their original place, but now on top of his lap, not that I care.

I turned my attention to the TV as I heard something getting placed on the transparent glass table, clacking. I displaced my eyes and put them on the object, he had put on the table: pills.

I turned my head and looked at Izaya, rather confused: "pills?" I spoke as he turned his face away from the TV and back to me. He hummed in a way of answering my question. I then hummed too, although his hum was lighter as if it meant: "yes?" and mine deep is if: "I don't care, I'm tired, but why though?" I would almost say the humming spoke for us since honestly, it did.

Izaya put his arm on the headrest and the other and the armrest, as I kept watching oohing and ahhing, gasping and laughing to the series. The silence kept going until the next episode started, and I got up to grab another glass of ice cubes to Izaya.

As I got up I could feel his eyes on me, while he giggled. I went to the kitchen and opened the counter to grab a glass and then went to the freezer to get some ice cubes and filled the cup with them.

I walk back with the cup and poured half of the amount of ice cubes into my own cup before unscrewing the cork of the soda.

"Weren't I supposed to be the host since, after all, I live here?" He leaned away from the sofa and placed his elbows on his calves, the upper part of his legs, with his knuckles under his chin with a curious look on his face, "thanks, would make a difference," I said as I screwed the cork and chose to sit down on the sofa this time.

I propped my feet on the couch in a Burmese position since it helps me concentrate. I started the episode as Izaya bursted out laughing.

"How the hell are you sitting?! You look like L from Death Note! Ha ha ha!!" Izaya laughed, while I just looked at him. I didn't find that funny.

As Izaya kept laughing I, myself, started smirking along with the gesture, "stop laughing, it's not that funny! I just like sitting like this okay?!" I said with this smile on my face, as I chuckled along too. "How could I? Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!" He laughed a bit more, as I pushed his shoulder and started laughing myself before sitting down again normally.

"Better?" I asked, tittering a bit, as Izaya repositioned his arms again, "honestly, I prefer the other one," he said while smirking, "Haha, really funny," I spoke, as I rolled my eyes playfully, "shush now," I continued, "I'm trying to watch," I spoke as a final and turned my head.

We started watching again as my eyes started to flutter in sleepiness. As to keep myself awake and away from sleeping, I started a conversation with Izaya: "I don't believe in love," I said, as Izaya looked at me weirdly, "I may have said I love you, but I don't. I guess you already can put one and one together now. I won't dig in the past. I think it's a waste of time. Shit happens. I may not have had the best childhood but at the minimum, I can try to get a good adulthood, since I'm in control of that. I would even say life is great, well at least since I escaped. I don't believe in love because I believe that you choose to be in love and love doesn't choose you, I guess that's kinda what keeps me going. Just thought that you should know since, you know, I don't wanna hurt any feelings, even though I know you probably don't care, I mean why should you? Honestly, it's not even because I think you're in love with me, I mean who would like me? Just wanted you to hear me say it! Sorry!!" I spoke rather quickly in the ending, as I brought my hands up to defend myself. I don't know how or what he's capable of anymore.

"He," I heard Izaya chuckle, or wait, was it a titter? Is he mocking me? I guess, I deserve that. I felt a hand cup the side of my head, my right temple, and bring my head to a warm chest, where I could hear a light heartbeat, Izaya's.

I raised my head and looked curiously and shocked at him. He started petting my hair and said: "I know. Don't worry, I already know. Just sleep now, you've been yawning five times in a minute," he said soothingly, "I'm not trying to be rude," he said and chuckled as my eyes started closing on their own as if it was instinct, while I smiled at his gesture.

"I'll catch up on some episodes, since I'm done for today, and I'm lazy,'' he said as I hummed a little laugh and closed my eyes as a final. I could sleep like this every day, or maybe it's just my sleep talking. Well, well, well, ohh? What was I gonna say? Oh, yeah, what? Well, I'm tired, shh, stupid, stupid, stupido brain. Stupido, stupido, stupido brain. Shhhhh~, good-whatever. Ugh, so tired.

  
"There is no such thing as a lazy person; he is either sick or uninspired." – Zig Ziglar


	12. Caged in His Arms

(Izaya’s POV) 

Her breath fanned my chest, as she moved in her sleep and brought her hand up my torso and down again. That action made my face light up in fifty shades of red. Oh, great, now I'm thinking of fifty shades of grey. Stop accusing me of having similarities with Christian Grey, don't even think about it, just no.

A piece of hair fell on top of her petite face, she whimpered, as she shook her head a little, but it wouldn't find place elsewhere, so she scrunched her face cutely and tried to change position, but it still didn't fall off, so she returned to her original place on my chest. I took the lock of hair and pushed it behind her ear, but as I did that, I noticed how soft her hair actually is and found myself caressing it once again, softly, like her soft hair, while the series played in the background.

Funny how I don't care. Funny how I should care. I don't care. I really don't care. There is nothing to care about, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all. She is something to me, though I don't know if that means a toy or what, but something. She is something. Something. Something. 

“Something… Something,” I mumbled out into the world. My existence as a human shouldn't exist. At times I shouldn't exist. I do more harm than well, I am God of mischief, God of chaos. Silence struck me again. I know, what I am, and I know, what I do, I know, most would want me dead, and it seems they've tried. You could pray to dear baby Jesus all day, pray to dear Allah, pray to all your deities, pray to whoever, wherever. I'm not leaving. If God existed I would be dead, I'm the only one who makes sure people are dead and stay dead.

“... Something… Something, truly…” I mumbled again, as I laughed again lowly, so I wouldn't wake (Y/N) up. I grabbed her waist and pulled her up since she seemed to be sliding off my chest. ”You're truly a mystery to be cracked, I'll be the one cracking you until you feel naked under my gaze, I don't care what lengths I have to go through to keep you. You'll be my personal toy to play with, kitten,” I whispered to the sleeping girl in my arms, and tightened my hold on her and brought her head up to the nape of my neck before lifting her up in my arms.

Well, I wouldn't say she's light weighted as most people feel like girls and women want to hear because they are too afraid to confront them and tell them they simply aren't underweighted. I don't understand the fuss, that just means you're healthy, not necessarily, but probably. I mean, one could have anorexia nervosa and be normal weighted, or bulimia nervosa or Binge Eating Disorder also well known for its abbreviation: BED. Have I mentioned being a total sloth? That's common with teenagers and I would know, trust me.

I've mentioned a few times to my victims that I'm an atheist. My every action, everything I do is for my dear humans. I love humans, so humans should come to love me as well, but just because I like humans, doesn't it mean I like one personally.

I don't believe in the phenomena of being perfect, but I do believe in being the best version of yourself. People don't know you like you know yourself, only you have the right to say you are perfect. Try to imagine another version of your best friend, either it is impossible or hard. If you can, your relationship is doomed, either that, or you are just weird. Sometimes weird is better… Shinra is a good example of that. Don't tell him I said that.

Have you ever just sat there and watched people and noticed how the same they all are? You're all the same. I chuckled at my thoughts from time to time, as I took my jacket and put it on top of her and walked out of my apartment. I took the elevator up to the roof, (Y/N) in my arms.

As the elevator opened I had to walk up a staircase before a door was set in front of me. I raised my foot up to open the door and pushed it open as I walked in. The semi-warm breeze caressing my face, as a mother would do to her child. 

I sat down on the ground and put (Y/N) on my lap, as I grabbed my phone, before holding her head and laying down on the ground. I pulled my parka up over us, as I pulled the woman up so her head could lay on my chest. I was the one who brought her up here, so the least I could do is make sure she could be comfortable.

I opened my phone and tapped contacts, swiping and sliding before tapping a name and bringing my smartphone up to my ear. I played with (Y/N)’s hair as I heard beeping sounds coming from my phone, meaning I was still awaiting the person to pick up the phone as I smirked. The beeping stopped as I spoke in a polite manner, my smirk widening: “Hello?” 

 

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein


	13. Chapter XIII | I Live For You.

(Reader’s POV)

I fluttered my eyes open in a slow motion, to the sound of birds chiming. The sun was settling as it shone in my eyes saying it’s goodbyes to me, saying its farewells. I could feel hands massage my scold as they played with my hair soothingly. A smile rose upon my face as I straightened myself, a voice spoke: “Good afternoon, I guess, I’m supposed to say,” the male said as his head look down to me, only to find it was Izaya.

He took a lock of my hair and put it behind my ear, saying: “My jacket suits you, bella,” he said the word bella in a way that it was obvious that he was trying to sound seductive whether it was flirting or whatever it is, it was clear.

I looked up rather confused at him, as my eyebrows gather on my forehead. Wasn’t I on the couch just before? I got off his lap as his jacket fell off me and looked around, getting even more confused. A crowd of wind hit my face before settling into the nothingness of the beautiful sky. I’d like to be a butterfly at this moment and see the hundreds of colours earth brings along. 

“Where are we?” I asked, as my eyes blinked at him in a confused manner, “Why, on the roof of my dear penthouse,” Izaya answered as he smiled politely and sweetly to me. He closed his phone, which he was writing on just before, he’s quite the fast typer, even so, I’m not surprised.

Izaya stood up as he took his hand out and helped me get up. When I got up he still didn’t let go, which just made me more confused. He tried to pull me to the edge of the roof before I saw where he was pulling me, “Are you trying to kill me?” I spoke as I stood my ground. 

“Fine, don’t trust me, call me names, since that’s what you think you need to do to keep yourself safe, keep acting like a dick and let’s see if you can earn my respect,” Izaya said as he let go of my hand and went to sit down in the edge, my mouth agape. Ouch, he’s right tho.

“Izaya, that’s not what I mean and get away from the edge, don’t wanna be the reason why you died in papers!” I said as I marched my way to him. “Izaya?” I began walking slower as I came closer to the edge.

I tapped his shoulder as I chimed his name once again. He grabbed my wrist after I spoke his name twice while tapping his back. He gave it a hard squeeze that surely would leave a mark. I gasped at the sudden pain, and as a reflex, I hit his back multiple times as I whimpered while speaking his name.

“Izaya! Let go! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!” I yelled as I kept on hitting his back. He turned around and loosened his grip on my wrist, before putting an arm around my head in a gentle manner, then letting go of my red wrist. As he let go of my wrist he brought his hand my to my head and caressed my head, while rocking me back and forth. My whimpering was silence against his chest, as I held my wrist, cursing at him: “You know that you are extremely violent? You’re no better than my so-called loving mother, I have no intention to stay, and you have no intention to help. Why would I stay with a low paying violent dog, who also is the city’s most infamous being, so my reputation basically will get crushed for everyday I meet up in your apartment, or maybe people will call me a whore, not to talk about the gangs that’ll kidnap me or hurt me to get back at you. What would you think that’d happen? That just shows that you don’t care about me, anyone probably,” I sighed at his thinking, as I finished. 

“That's not true, I do care, just not like most. Don’t think you’re special, you are all eq-” he stopped, since I interrupted him with: “Equal before God, I know, you’re so predictably boring, you never change, how long have you been like this? Middle school? Did you even notice that? You really are pathetic,” I said as he kept swaying back and forth.

Nothing, no word, I only got his silence, as he raised his head, looking into my eyes with a smile plastered on his face, silent treatment, I couldn’t figure the meaning behind the smile, freaking the mystery behind the smile of Mona Lisa, I swear. I know I said it in a hoarse way, but I’m right, he hasn’t changed in years.

Suddenly he stopped swaying and let go of me. I took a step back, looking confused at him. He’s so confusing I swear. I hit something with the back of my shoe, looking back, realising I’m on the edge of the twenty store skyscraper. I took a step away from the edge while still looking, my feet getting cold of the distance. 

Izaya smirked as he took a step forward, blinking and smiling again in a way of seduction, who is he trying to play with honestly. He tucked his hands into his jean pockets since his parka was laying on the ground, sucking dust. I must admit, he looked quite attractive with his collarbones showing off in his v-neck, and he probably knows that, that’s why he wears v-necks, not to mention his broad shoulders in the skin tight fabric, his flat stomach with the outline of what seems like a six pack, and his raven black hair, shining in the remains of the sun, looking ravish- I’m sorry where were we? Oh right, at my last minutes of existence, I’M ON THE EDGE OF A FREAKING BUILDING!!

“Caught,” I heard him say, as my embarrassment washed my face, “I did no such thing as check you out! Don’t go all up tease me! Stoooooooooop,” I shouted my face colouring as fast as the ever so famous green Hulk, and no I’m not talking about Shizuo Heiwajima.

Izaya chuckled as he spoke afterwards: “It’s fine, you can just admit, after all I’m quite used to the attention I get from females and sometimes even males. I don’t mind really,” he twigged his eyebrows at me, bursting into laughter a short time later, “I didn’t!” I shouted once again, stumping my leg into the ground. I’m quite short-tempered, I know, I know, I know, I know.

“Yeah, yeah, as if,” Izaya snickered, as he blinked with one of his eyes, making a kissy face at the same time, then smirking. I shook my face, sticking my tongue out. Izaya widened his eyes as he started laughing, as I tapped along after a while, laughing hysterically. And as if on cue, Izaya grabbed my hand, turned it over and made circling motion with his finger, the other hand, on the palm of my hand, soothingly, “Do you trust me?” he spoke ever so gentle looking at his finger as it now made a repeating eight formed circulation, to the reference of infinity repeating itself, the act itself made me believe that we were alike, that we were alike.

A man who forces breathing beings to think there is no solution to their pathetic unstopping suffering. He who says he’s a man of his word, but the next day claims he’s god, but wouldn’t he be lying when saying he’s a man then? He should then be stating he’s a god of his word, not to mention he said a, as if he knows he’s like every other being. Izaya is a lie to humanity and he knows that, Izaya is a test that you don’t see coming and he can make the most religious people doubt the above, and I love that about him. I know I shouldn’t but I do, I do like marriage, I do, I do, I do. 

“You know, I would die for the man you’ve become,” Izaya looked confused at me and I just continued: “You never change, you are flawless in the way you’ve build yourself in a few years, months, as if you knew what you wanted to be as if you’ve just wanted to be in age, people tend to look for the bad in a person and as they’ve seen the bad they forget the good because what can anyones goodness do, if they have badness as well? Izaya, you’ve not only killed a person, you’ve killed plenty. Izaya, you’ve not only killed plenty, you made them trust you, you made them believe there was nothing more left for them to do but to die, as if it’s okay to take your own life. You’ve manipulated, taunted people into dumb things, and I shall never know if you even remember their names, if you even regret it a bit, if you even care enough to one day stop, if you even know why you did it, why you still do it. Oh dear god, you said yourself you don’t trust yourself, so how can you expect anyone to trust you? That includes me. As for the good,” I took a good look at him before continuing, Izaya looked at me waiting for me to finish, though I felt as if he waited for something else at the time, I don’t know what, I don’t know what.

“You’ve done a lot behind camera, or well not really since I saw from cameras, but not that much that one would call you a nobleman, you always help others but ridicule others, but I guess that fine, since they had it coming. Just admit, you’re not that hard person, you do have a soft spot for those who can’t protect themselves. Not to mention, in my case, one for one, you could easily blackmail me into it, and I wouldn’t get anything. Actually, I’m the one who gets more of being your assistant, for God’s sake, it’s your damn penthouse, do I have to mention security in this building and you are after all every hitman’s number one for how many people you’ve pissed off, I mean, if this place wasn’t safe, you wouldn’t be alive, now would you?” Izaya widened his eyes at my statement and let go of my hand for what seemed like was because of his shock. He composed himself quickly, as he smirked at me and took two step forward, I took one back, he stepped one forward again, and I back, as I felt my foot hit the edge. 

I felt myself fall back, as Izaya’s face changed faster than his moods, faster than light. He tried to grab my arm, wrist, hand, about to fall down himself, but it was too late. I’m falling down a twenty-floor skyscraper, and if that isn’t going to kill me then my mouth will. Oh shit, I’m falling down a twenty-floor building and there is no way I’m going to survive, I’m literally going to die. I’M FUCKING GOING TO DIE!!

Air running through my hair, gripping it, pulling it out of my scalp, as my hair kissed my face, as if saying goodbye. Anxiety filled me up to the point I felt like the world was going faster but I slower, I felt as if my lungs were going to come out of my mouth, my body, any moment now, and death would hit me at any second, but the only thing I can see is Izaya. I thought he had little to no concern for me but my death proves otherwise. I guess, he isn’t that heartless anyway. I screamed once again as I felt it settle in, I’m literally dying.

Rushing. Everything is fast, but I am slow. Everything is fast, but I am slow. Everything is fast, but I am falling. To my doom. Falling. To my doom. I'm falling to my doom. God have mercy on the dead. God have mercy on me. Up and down, sky and surface. The sky above me so blue, so blue, so blue, I'm dying, going to my doom. The surfaces hard, so hard, so hard, please, save me, God. Izaya, please, help me.

My scream subsided, my cord going numb and the only thing I could do is smile as tears started to fall down my face, from the pounding air on my face, the relief of feeling getting peace, but at the same time terrified at the thought, I didn’t accomplish anything, and if I had to choose between this situation and sleeping on Izaya’s shoulder I would choose to sleep on his shoulder a million times. In the end, Izaya isn’t that bad, but I’m so clumsy, I turned out to kill myself, I’m worse off dead.

Suddenly I felt as if the world was going slower, it felt so real, it felt so wrong. The air lightly playing with the crown of my head, almost as if calming me down. I was falling. There was nothing calming about this. My stomach flipped, as I voiced a scream, trying to grab a hold of something, anything. I was dying. Falling from the top of a building down, down, down, down, I’m falling down. I screamed again, tears ripping out of my eyeballs, wanting to live, realising I was not only dying, I was watching Izaya becoming smaller and smaller, further and further away. I didn’t do much to try to survive, I don’t deserve to die, even if the thought of dying might be a relief, I’ll never have to worry again about anything, because I’ll be dead. I let go, I let go I let go of him, if only I accepted his helping, I let go of everything, I’m the reason this is happening, I can’t blame him, I can’t blame him, I can’t hate him, after all, I love him. In some weird way, I find myself so fascinated in him that I love him, I shouldn’t, I know, and I won’t get close to him, I don’t have any attention of being in a relationship with him, I just- I just want him to be happy. I don’t believe in love but what I feel for him is truly rare, in some way I love the man he is, who he’s become, I love how he says he doesn’t care but he does. I’ve always told myself I’m wrong, that he’s heartless, but his tears prove otherwise, his worry for his sisters prove otherwise. I’m wrong in the way of believing I’m wrong when I’ve always been right, I’ve known I’m right, I’m a fucking liar. I seem to have a soft spot for the man, huh, how pathetic.

I saw memories flash before me, I smiled as I closed my eyes accepting my death, as a final. I'm going to die, “It was a pleasure to meet you Izaya,” I spoke as suddenly everything became black.

;))

 

“It’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.” – Unknown.


	14. Chapter XIV | I Die For You.

(Reader’s POV)

I count, twelve like the clock, I count. 

oNE

Blood splattered everywhere, the smell of metal entering my nose to the point that the smell felt permanent, the smell felt suffocating as if I couldn’t escape it. The redness, the redness covering the fancy building I fell from. Oh wait, I fell, this is my blood, my blood, my death. The blood of a creature, and the creature is me, the blood of a human, and the human is me, the blood of a person, and the person is me.

TWo

He looks at me, as I fall, I fall. He looks at me as I die, I die, not doing anything, not that he could, not that he would, not that I could, not that I would, how could I? After all, I’m the one who’s dying, I’m the one dying, dying, dying, dying, dying, or maybe I’m not dead yet.

tHReE

I open my eyes, feeling as if I saw death in the eyes, and in all honesty I did, I saw memories flash before my eyes, like flash cards, my education, my dreams, the hurt, and the good I almost never had. My body felt stuck in dark shadows, but I found some sort of comfort in them, some sort of pleasantries in them, they might not be warm, but they feel rather - safe. I was rather confused whether I was dead or alive at this moment, I could only see darkness swarming around me, but in that shadow, I could see the sky through it, so blue, so naive, so alive. Slowly my surroundings became bluer as I heard screaming: “(Y/N)! Oh, (Y/N)!!” I heard a strong voice laced with so many emotions. I’ve heard this voice so many times, that I would know it from miles away. 

fOur

I hear voices consume me, their concern obvious, but do they know even though I’m not dead, I’ve accepted in some way that I am. My silent minded thoughts becoming more silent. My mind is so silent that this peace of mind feels so sickening, when did silence and peace become something so unwanted? I feel choked in this nothingness as if it’s a bacteria in my chest growing bigger and bigger like a disease, as if there’s an expiring date attached on my back, like a tattoo, and I’m watching myself “expire”.

FIvE

What’s this? Anxiety filling me from the inside and out, to the point I feel like, I will not open my eyes, to the point I feel like, I don’t want to open my eyes. It’s not making it better that everybody is looking at me, it’s giving me anxiety. How am I doing this? How - am I still alive? How am I? How am I not dead yet?

SiX

I flutter my eyes open, only to find myself in a foreign place, not that I care at the moment. I never seem to sleep well these days, rather I dream of myself sleeping and in that dream of sleeping I seem to be sleeping in forever, so long it feels deathening, obviously not sleeping well both in reality and now.

I feel a hand caress my cheek, as I turn aside only to groan at the sudden movement of my neck, I chose to lay still and just turn my eyes instead, only to see the man who screamed my name: Orihara, Izaya Orihara. 

He smiles gently at me, as I observe his form, his hair dishevelled, as if he had put his fingers through it constantly for hours, maybe days, which reminds me: “How long have I been asleep?” I asked in a small voice, but you can’t blame me. “About two days, I would say 27 hours, a better question, how are you, how do you feel?” Izaya asked as concern flashed his eyes, déjà vu. 

“Dead,” I answered, as I smirked weakly. Izaya flinched, as he said: “Don’t say that, I actually thought, I would lose you, hours of planning, scheming, would have been for nothing,” he said, as he slightly chuckled, a false smile plastering his face, as I deadpanned, “I’m kidding…” he chuckled, shivering to his lie, “Liar,” I chimed, as I closed my eyes and smirked before hearing his voice once again: “You caught me… hey, don’t sleep, I’ve waited for you to wake up for hours, days, weeks, months, years, wake up, lazy ass, (Y/N)!” I heard Izaya say before he sighed and got up, patting my forehead, shooting my eyes open, my eyebrows scrunched together, as I sighed as well, whispering: “Douchebag…” I closed my eyes, finally getting to enjoy the sweet silence, smiling slightly before Izaya interrupted it once again: “I heard that,” he spoke, and I ignored him before dozing off.

SeVEn

“Hey… (Y/N)... Hey… Are you awake?… Hey!!” an annoying voice spoke, which obviously was the schizophrenic dude, obviously, while he poked my cheek, his warm breath on my face. I shot my eyes open and starred onto the being in front of me, I narrowed my eyes as I studied the dude, freaking schizophrenic, whoremonger, a piece of shit, “... How dare you to disturb my sleep…” I spoke, as my whole body was holding this red red red so very red wrath inside of me. 

“I will say this once again… HOW DARE YOU DISTURB MY SLEEP?!!?!” I am the goddess of my land, my sleep, and to take me out of it, how dares the man, I am the god of my land, hell hath no fury like a woman who had awoken.

Izaya fell backwards as his eyes widened, I sighed before trying to get up, yet I couldn't. Sad. “Izaya… IZAYA!! WHY DID YOU NEED TO WAKE ME UP, JUST WHY?!” I spoke shooting my head at- owwwwwwwww!! My neck really hurts… It really does.

Izaya got up, looking rather annoyed, as he spoke: “We’re not at a hotel, even though I wished, we were, we are at a friends house, I don't want to be a burden. I'm taking you home,” my face drained, as I mumbled: “Home? What home?” I swallowed some saliva into my dry throat to moisten it before he answered: “My apartment, penthouse, workplace, whatever you wanna call it. Now get up, c’mon I don't want to wait all day.” I chuckled before I got up, groaning at the sudden motion and closed my eyes, I felt like a newborn who couldn't walk.

EiGHt

I sighed before opening my eyes and taking a step forward, but I guess my body didn't agree with this decision: to move, I mean, I tripped and just before my knees hit the floor Izaya grabbed onto me, one hand under my armpit and the other one on my waist. To be honest, one of my knees was already on the floor, it's not like he’s prince charming or anything, after all, he was standing in front of me, as I fell, not to mention he didn't catch me, I fell, “... I fell, ” and with that, I shuddered, as I felt dread fill me, like there was no tomorrow, eating my insides. I forgot how to breathe.

NiNE

I grabbed my throat, as I pushed and shoved Izaya away from me needing space. Izaya widened his eyes, clearly in shock, before yelling: “SHINRA!!!” he screamed at the top of his lungs, as a man tumbled along to the deep voice, wearing a confused expression on his face, before he finally saw me, “Oh!” he said, as he ran over to me, taking his glasses off, putting them in the pocket of his white coat in a hurried manner, before grabbing onto my shoulders and raising my upper body enough for me to be able to face him, but at the moment, I didn't want to, I didn't want to face him, I just want to know what the hell is going on?!

TeN

“Breathe,” he spoke in a gentle manner, as he raised my face by my chin, looking deep into my eyes, he was so close that I couldn't focus on anything but him, “We will tell you everything you need to know, but for now, just breathe,” he spoke in a firm yet gentle manner, and I trusted his words. I nodded, as I inhaled, “Good, inhale,” I inhaled, “Exhale,” I exhaled, as he continued once again: “Inhale,” I inhaled once again, “Exhale,” and with that, I finally felt my breathing, my body, finally stabilising again into normality, I kept repeating this, until I felt comfortable enough to get some answers.

Shinra got up, as he sighed, Izaya looked back and forth between me and the man in the white coat with a disturbed look on his face, before stepping forward while looking at this Shinra, as if he was waiting for his approval, and boy was I right. Whitey nodded at him as Izaya’s disturbed expression seized away.

Izaya got down on his knees, as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his warm embrace, settling his head on my shoulder, tightening his hold on me, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, that wasn’t my intention, it really wasn’t, thank god Celty was there, I wouldn’t be able to have more blood on my hands, let alone yours,” he spoke in a shaky voice, as I wrapped my arms around him, he seemed like he needed it, more than I did. He tightened his grip on me even more, as he said once again: “Especially yours,” and with that his hands let go of my torso and laid flat on each side of his upper body, dead. 

I caressed his back, as I turned my head, so I would be able to face his ear, I whispered: “Shhhhhh, don’t be so hard on yourself, you wouldn’t have known, you were not supposed to know, no one was, it just happened, if I believed in God, I would say it’s part of God’s plan, but I sadly I don’t, on the other hand, I could say it’s faith, the universe is against me,” I smiled, as I said that, wow, it hurt more to say that out loud than in my head, the universe really is against me, huh.

“No, it’s against me,” he said, as he got up with this look on his face, I couldn’t put a finger on, he looked so… distant, it almost hurt me to see him that way, but with all this that has happened over the course of a few days, I couldn’t bring myself to care about him, I couldn’t bring myself to love the man who is so utterly broken, and Whitey seemed to notice that too.

EleveN

The eleven is always silent like my silent mind is. You won’t be able to access it, you can’t, you won’t.

TWELVE

I break apart, I fell apart, I feel my walls crumble with his touch, his breath, his stare, his feels, his love, my walls fall to ash when he is near. I can’t see to get you off my mind, you are perfection, unbreakable, every woman’s dream, guys’, you were a lot, but you weren’t me.

Around I go, twelve like the clock, around I go, 360, around I go, twelve like the clock, around I go. TWELVE LIKE THE CLOCK.

 

“Twelve like the clock, round and round I go.” – Depression.


	15. Chapter XV | Whitey.

(Reader's POV)

The door slammed shut as I and Whitey flinched, we looked at each other awkwardly and sighed.

After what felt like a war of silence, Shinra tried to stir up a conversation: "Sooo... H-how are you do- how are you feeling? It was quite a blunt trauma you went through, I mean, if Celty wasn't there, you would have been dead, after all, you did get pushed off a skyscrap-" the doctor stopped awkwardly halfway through the word; skyscraper, as he stumbled back a little and straightened his glasses. He was about to continue elsewhere before I interrupted and admitted: "He didn't push me, did he say that? Who said that? Don't tell me it was this Celty, you were talking about," I looked at him curiously, my tone coming out a little rude, but I think it was rude to accuse Izaya of such, and I wouldn't let it slid that easily, "I know, he's a bad guy, but I don't care about that, you can't generalise a person to these lengths, some things shouldn't be generalised, this is one of them, and to think I thought, you two were close enough to be acquaintance, friends even-" Shinra interrupted me after his episode of agapeness. This is a rude conversation, we keep interrupting each other.

"Wow, for a woman who fell a least twenty stores down, you seem to care more about Izaya more than yourself, from the roof lady, you sure, you're okay? Izaya said himself, he pushed you down and I just took him for his word, I didn't think much of it since it wouldn't be the first time and my line of business," Shinra said while grinning like a mad dog, or should I say dog-tor.

"How tall is that building anyway? I just seem to fall and fall and- I fell," I was so oblivious to the fact that I fell, my brain refused to accept more suffering that I just pushed it away for the time being, how could I be this oblivious? I was staring into space, slowly feeling myself getting consumed by my own thoughts. I fell.

"Earth to (Y/N)!" Shinra yelled way to close to my face for my comfort, I could literally feel the carbon dioxide being exhaled, literally.

I shivered out of my trance, as I looked at Shinra, terrified of my thoughts, of my balance, terrified of falling again, I don't want to die, I don't want to die. "I don't want to die, Shinra, I don't want to die. Help me, I'm afraid to die, I don't want to fall, what if I fall and die, I don't want to die," I grabbed the collar of his shirt as I continued: "Shinra what if I fall, what if I die, Shinra!" I pulled myself closer to him, my breathing unsteady again, terrified of falling, I don't want to fall, I can't die.

"Oh god- Izay- CELTY!!" he yelled, as I was weeping hysterically, my sudden outburst shocked him to lengths where he felt the need to back away, but as he did that, I felt myself falling, falling down. I can't do this again, I don't want to die. I heard myself screaming as Shinra put his arms around me, whether it was for my comfort or if it simply was a reflex, I was grateful either way for the small act. 

I fell, everyone falls, everyone gets pushed, everyone is unlucky at some point in their life, everyone sees death at some point in their life, death by a parent, grandparent, maybe even a sibling or a close friend, everyone sees death at some point in their life, I guess, I just had to face it.

"... I... fell..." I whispered as I let go of his shirt and rolled off him, opening my eyes, which I had closed in the process of my outburst, seeing Shinra sitting on the floor, looking at me in a worried manner, as a woman in a towel, which was about to fall off her body,  came running in looking- I felt myself drifting away into darkness, hearing Shinra go off again one last time before being consumed completely: "FOR FUCK SAKE!!" I never thought of Whitey as the type of guy who'd yell as he cursed, he just seems like a great- nevermind he definitely could be one of those yanderes, but he's just too bubbly... I honestly don't know anymore... 

 

"Sucess is falling nine times and getting up ten." – Jon Bon Jovi


	16. Chapter XVI | Have Mercy On My Pussy!

(Reader’s POV)

“Hey… hello…(Y/N)...? You need to wake up, OMG… Celty, can you help out… Ugh, you know… Don’t say that as an excuse and come and help…” I groaned at the noise, pushing the person away, before returning to sleep, or at least trying.

“Izaya told me you have been in and out of conscious, it’s not healthy for you to be in the state unconsciousness that often and that includes sleeping, not to mention it’ll end with depression if you sleep your day away or stay in your bed, you should wake up and-” Shinra kept ranting before I cut him off, slamming my eyes open, yelling: “Jesus, take the wheel- YOU SOUND LIKE A DAD!!” As that was out, echoing around in the room, I closed my eyes. I heard something fall on the floor before I realised, I yelled at my host. Shit, I should probably apologise and go now. 

I fluttered my eyes open again as spoke in a stutter: “I-I’m sorry, I-I’m weird, I’ll go now,” saying sorry once again and ran out of the door, as I heard him say ‘wait!’, too embarrassed to turn around. 

As I walked out in the street people gave me weird glances. I’m used to people looking at me, since when I lived with my mother I walked out with blue markers on my body, and trust me when I say they were very visible, at times I even had dried blood on my knees from being pushed on the floor, getting carpet burns, before being punched into a pup, until my face would turn in colours that shouldn’t be on a child's face - anyone’s, and the worst thing is, I have scars to remind me of my suffering.

I came by a body length - and more - mirror, and I just happen to look at myself, I mean, I want to know if I have blue markers on my face- SHIT! I’M STILL WEARING IZAYA’S CLOTHES! I thought as blushed such a red that would put any tips tomato to shame. 

I put my arms on my chest since I wasn’t wearing a bra, and I think it’s really embarrassing, and I couldn’t turn back because I was already too far away from Shinra's house and his headless lady friend. Yes, I do know who the headless rider is, it’s just the first time seeing her in real life instead of behind a camera. I just woke up, and seeing her was the last thing I’d expect. I’m already self-conscious about my body as it is, and to show it to the whole damn city was just too overwhelming for me, so of course I’d run into the nearest place with a toilet that I knew of.

As I ran into the store, people looked at me with their mouths agape. I turned my head and continued to reach my goal: A door that has a lock and a toilet I can sit on until I figure out what to do.

I don’t have money, I don’t have my phone with me, I’m not wearing appropriate clothing, you know what, I was wondering why it was so cold, how could I be so oblivious? At times I would even call myself ignorant or worse. 

I pushed my hand through my hair and grabbed the crown of it in frustration, letting out a groan. I’m so frustrated, I can feel tears form in my ears, and not the type to cry, I only cry when I’m frustrated. 

I sat there for about half an hour, contemplating what to do and what I could do, I mean, there isn’t much a girl like me can do without clothes, money or a phone. Gosh! What is wrong with me?! How could I be so stupid?!?!! As I thought and totally slut-shamed myself, or well you cursing my fate and stupidity, I heard a knock on the public bathroom door I was settling in. I thought it was weird so I just stared at the door before my eyes slowly went down to see the gender of the person by their shoes: big feet, business shoes or as I like to call them oxford shoes, slick black, very shiny, they remind of a rich person's shoes, yakuza, my mother’s disgusting boyfriend, and now that I think about it Heiwajima’s and Orihara’s too.

As I stared at the shoes, pushing mine back so the person couldn’t see my- OH MY GOD, THAT’S IT, I AM NOT EVEN WEARING SHOES, HOW?! I groaned to myself, before slapping my hand over my mouth, he definitely knows I’m here now.

I heard a knock again, yet this time it was slow. I didn’t answer again, I just pushed my naked feet further back, thinking of how unhygienic this was, worry filling me up inside and out, what if they found me? I dreaded this day, I can’t go back, I’m of age, I can be here and live in my own apartment, don’t drag me back, don’t kill me for finally standing up for myself, please, I can’t do this.

I whimpered into my hand, holding my breath: I’m terrified. A sigh erupted from the man’s throat as he finally spoke: “(Y/N), open the door… please,” I heard a tired voice say, it sounded rather rusty, like his eyes. I obeyed and opened the door as I saw him take a step back before opening, confirming that it truly was Orihara.

I opened my mouth to say something before he shoved clothes into my face, it was black like the ninja clothes I was wearing when I broke into his apartment. I closed my mouth again as I looked at the clothes and then him, repeating the motion once again before I finally spoke his name in confusing: “Izaya?” I tilted my head as I looked at him in utter confusion.

“Don’t ask, just change,” Izaya spoke hurriedly before closing the door in my face. I deadpanned before raising my butt off the toilet seat, setting the clothes on the seat of the toilet, I don’t really care right now, I’m going to burn this clothes, when I finally come home and change into some pyjamas and slag off to some Netflix or anime, perhaps I’ll Boku No Hero Academia or finish Black Mirror, I’ve heard many great things about Jane The Virgin too, I guess we’ll see till when I come home.

“... H-How did you know… know t-that I was here?” I stuttered in a low voice, don’t tell me I walked into the men’s section, this day couldn’t be worse if so, falling off a building, fainting for what seemed like the twelfth time, I certainly going to count how many times I’ve fainted this past week, because of a douche- I can’t call him a douchebag, he saved my day, after all. Ooh! Izaya, you’re my hero! You truly are better than God himself, have mercy on my PUSSY! Sorry, my brain is weird, either it’s screaming kitten, pussy, water with the same accent and the same way Kubz Scouts does in his videos. Disturbing, I know.

“Why, because my v-neck and boxes were trending in Tokyo, and the thing is, it already seemed like I boned you, since you are wearing my signature black v-neck, but some people noticed you weren’t wearing a bra too. Do you know, how bad this makes me seem? you walking around almost naked around town, yet I still don’t know, what made you think that was a good idea, how?!” he didn’t shout, I would rather say he hissed.

“You are a very selfish man, Orihara,” I said as I pulled the v-neck off my body before grabbing the hoodie and continued: “The only reason you came, was because you were worried about your reputation. You’re not a nun, you know. You are allowed to have sex, people don’t care about who you fuck, only if it’s an animal, child or Heiwajima. Know that if you rape a child I’ll personally kill you because I know the police won’t be able to find you, and I have eyes everywhere, I’ll always know,” the hoodie hung loosely on my body as I finished talking before I heard Izaya tsk at my words.

“You know it might have been funny the last time you talked that way about me, yet when you think about it I have said nothing about you, do you want me to start. because when I do, I won’t stop,” he threatened, as I took the boxes off, grabbing the sexy slacks.

I jumped twice as I tried to get them over my butt, they aren’t tight, I’m just dramatic when trying to take jeans on, you can’t tell me I’m the only one. “What are you doing?” Izaya asked softly, like a confused child. I started blushing as I turned my head towards the door, “You wouldn’t know, it’s a girl thing,” I spoke and laughed, I slapped my cheeks lightly after I buttoned them sexy slacks on, getting the courage to open the door and face him.

I grabbed the hood and shoved it over my head, grabbing each end of the thread, pulling it, so my face be hidden under hood, I saw Izaya leaning up against the wall, a smirk growing on his face as he tilted his head up slowly before pushing himself off and putting a pair of shoes in front of me before taking a step back as I mumbled a little ‘thanks’ and went down to put them on.

“A girl thing huh?” Izaya chuckled as I looked up at him and saw him shake his head, my shoes are easy to put on, it’s these slip-on shoes, very comfy for my lazy ass, ain’t nobody trying to look attractive for no one.

The ends of my mouth pulled up a little into a smile as I got up a giggled a little myself, but what I didn’t expect was for Izaya to wrap his arms around me, and pull me into his warmth in an embrace. Is he hugging me? He’s hugging me.

I took a step back as I looked at him a little puzzled and shocked before awkwardly wrapping my arms around his torso. “Are you okay?” Izaya whispered into my ear, worry evident in his voice. “Yes, I guess so, thanks for bringing my clothes, you saved my day… yay…” I responded as I patted his back, standing my ground. “I’m glad to hear,” he spoke as he lowered his head onto my shoulder and tightened his hold on me before letting go and walking to the door holding it open and just standing there for a bit as he turned his face to me.

“Why are you just standing there? Go on, let’s go,” he spoke as he chuckled a bit, taking his hand out for me to grab on to. I knitted my brows together as I looked at his hand and them at him, only to see he was still smiling at me gently. I grabbed ahold on his hand and smiled at him sweetly as we started heading out. You bipolar man.

 

“A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes,” – Mark Twain.


End file.
